Saturday, September 18, 2010

October 2009 (audio)

My pose of existential exhaustion, a self-portrait of the final hours of the final day of October while on the phone with Anya Briggs.

The month of October 2009 was, without question, one of the most bizarre and impressive things that I've ever experienced.

I was literally swallowed up in series of unrelenting synchronicities, each more profound than the one proceeding it. It felt like it was impossible to try to process what was happening in the moment and now, almost a full year later, I've made a real-deal effort to try and look at the events of that whirl-wind month.

If I tried to write out what went down, it would end up being a novel. So I created an audio retelling, as best as I could, of those 31 days.

audio download / 1 hour 52 minutes long
Beyond my retelling of the events of the month, this audio includes recorded conversations with Stacey, Marla Frees, a psychic session with Anya Briggs a Tarot reading from William Henry and The Beach Boys. There is some heartfelt stuff about my friend Mac Tonnies, and this felt really important to share. It might be helpful to review the ongoing blog entries during that month. Those were posted in real time, and my sense of mystification is palpable. Click here to see every post from October of '09.
Update added March 8th, 2011:
Owls make an appearance while recording this deeply introspective podcast. Here's a curious bit of confirmation (at least for me) that the stuff in this audio essay is important. I share the haunting events in a separate post (HERE).


Anonymous said...

I'd like to apologize.

I have no idea if it was the one you read, but I did send you an e-mail the moment I found out about Mac. I knew how close you were and, to tell the truth I was just in shock. It felt like it should have come from someone closer to you, but some part of me couldn't bear to let you go on for however long not knowing.

Take care, Mike

Mike Clelland! said...

Reply to Wildrote:

Pleas, no need at all to apologize. I am pretty sure it was your email that fist informed me of Mac's death. I am aware at how uneasy it might have felt for you in the moment, but there is no "good" way to deliver that kind of sad news.

I know we had corresponded a tiny bit at that point, and I simply didn't recognize your name right then, and I din't go back and check when I made the audio recording.

Peace to you,
Mike C!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Mike,

I've been carrying that around for a while.

Red Pill Junkie said...

Wow! That was quite an emotional roller-coaster you rode almost a year ago.

The pessimistic not-in-touch-with-the-Universe part of me would like to SMACK you in the middle of your bald skull for being so god-damned irresponsible when you were driving through the desert —Hello? you feel these horrible chest pains and you purposely choose the smallest and most isolated roads you could find?! V├ílgame Dios...

I don't remember you mentioned on those past blog posts that Anya channeled Mac —which was definitely the appropriate way to go— I love the idea that he can now "dig into so much cool stuff" and is enjoying something far better than our Internet; I'm not sure if I'm ready to believe it, but I'm glad that it seemed to give you a bit of closure at that moment.

Anyway, almost a year later, you Mike seem more at peace with the exploration of your metaphorical truth.

PS: I'm not a Beach Boys fan, though I appreciate how appropriate the lyrics of that last song were to finish your post. As for me, most of the time I feel I can't escape the Boulevard of Broken Dreams —yet I'm still waiting :)

Mike Clelland! said...


About the Bach Boys song at the end. I had a close friend named Rick who died in 2005, and he was quite a fan of the Pet Sounds album. I purposely chose the 50 second harmonizing clip simply because it was short and calm. The CD was on my desk as I finalized the editing, and I added that more for Rick than anything.

And Yes - I am much more at peace these days. A welcome relief. I think I'm just too lazy to get as freaked out as I used to.


Mike Clelland! said...


RPG posts at 11:11

and I post at 11:23

Red Pill Junkie said...

Oh man... @_@

Mike Clelland! said...

Some extra insights:

Last summer I made a sort of pledge, that I wasn't going to pay attention to owls that were off at my periphery. I had been seeing so many owls that I needed some way to filter out the ones I saw that were just sitting in a tree as I drove down the road, those didn't count. I recount this in the audio post.

I literally stated out-loud that I would pay much closer attention if the owls somehow crossed my path. Basically, they needed to swoop down in front of me, as if they were demanding my attention. Well, almost immediately after my declaration, the owls seemed to respond - and they would appear in front of me in flight - cleanly bisecting my path. (this happened in early october '09 as I rode my bike in town)

Last winter and this summer, I didn't see may owls. I saw a few off on the side of the road as I was driving, but for the most part it felt like they had eased off.

The overt owl "performance" where they cross my path happened multiple times in October of 2009, and and then pretty much nothing for a almost a full year. But then, it happened twice last week while I was recording and editing an audio essay on the hectic events of the month of October 2009.

My only interpretation is either "your'e on the right path" or "pay attention."

Mike Clelland! said...

Even MORE funny insights:

A funny synchronicity in the audio time counter during my long winded verbal "essay" about october 2009.

First, the numbers 123 and 1234 has been plaguing me, I see it ALL the time. But, I really pay attention when I see 12345 show up.

I was so wrapped up in the making of this audio that I went and checked the time count numbers. The digital MP3 player on my computer counts up on one end, and counts down on the other.

That means the number 1:23:45 shows up twice on the counter. And at BOTH points it lines up perfectly to the funny story about me feeling like I was Stacey's gay neighbor! This story gets told twice, once by me, and again during the recoded conversation with Stacey. And both times it lines up to that curious number.

During a channeled psychic session, Anya Briggs told me that Stacey and I lived together in past lives as brother and sister. We lived a charmed life in Paris in the 19th century, and I was a flamboyant gay man, and I would escort her thru high society. Anya painted a very funny picture of our life together. (I love these little coincidences!)

Red Pill Junkie said...

Have you considered meeting this John, Stacey's friend?

Mike Clelland! said...

Reply to RPG:

No, it's not a priority. I think the feeling I noted is less about the fello John, and more about the funny feeling between Stacey and myself.

Anonymous said...


I found a lot of familiar feelings with your story without the UFO edge. My own therapy includes kinesiology and also surrounding myself with smart women. Oh and there are 2 owls outside tonight quite possibly mating in the Australian spring.
I enjoy your blog. I am not always on the same page but I like the ride.
Mike W

Cyth said...

Hi Mike,
I've been following your blog for just about a year now , I guess you'd say from afar. I've been intrigued. And though I've never experienced a UFO event (for lack of a better term ), I can identify with your questing, which much of what you are doing seems to be.
I've just listened to your audio about this past year and my strong reaction to it has been that you are still trying to grapple with the events and are looking for validation of them. I think it was Anya(?) who said something to the effect that you just gotta deal with it. It's almost as if you are still denying even as you are telling it.
I say this because I've been seeking a long time myself. I'm not always sure of what I'm actually searching. But I find myself trying to explain the yearning, questing, nagging feeling that there is something just beyond my reach. Once in a while I meet someone with whom can talk freely about this, and I know that I am comforted by the sharing, but I am still yearning for validation.
I'm just beginning to really accept that my reality is just that - MY reality. No one can validate what I so personally have experienced ( or some might argue , constructed ). It does exist , and it is just as real as making myself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I'm learning, oh so slowly, to accept it and, when I can, to truly integrate it into my very unique mind set.
I think that you are on the cusp of that - true acceptance and integration. I hope that you can embrace that sooner rather than later. And I think that your journey has been a welcome comfort for those not quite as far down the road as you are.
A fellow journeyer, Cyth

Mike Clelland! said...

As of october first, just four days ago, I cancelled an email account - and I lost all my email records from October of last year. I'm glad I made this audio essay when I did, it helped a lot to reference these...

Oh well.