Sunday, April 10, 2011

is the phenomenon being self-generated?

The Path, whatever that means.

Dan Mitchell (of LUMINOSITY) had single sentence in a recent posting that touched a nerve in me. He wrote:

"This again leaves little doubt that at least in my own case, the phenomenon is being self-generated."

I've had this very same concept rolling in my head in the last few days. I feel like the phenomenon has been manifesting in a way to match my deeply personal set of (dare I say) needs. The direct experience can be truly mystifying, and it can stir-up a lot of self doubt.

It feels like there is a deceptive and elusive mystery unfolding before me, and there is something about the whole thing that I truly like as it urges me further down the path. It's an irresistible puzzle that somehow engages me in a way that exactly matches my own personality.

What is happening? Are there all-knowing beings out there in a hidden realm that can read my mind and understand all it's subtleties? Can these entities tailor my set of experiences so they exactly match what would be most engaging to me and me alone? As nutty as it sounds, this is how it "feels" on some level.

Or could it be something equally bizarre.

Another thought: Is there some part of me, some higher self (of future self, or astral self, or my soul-self) that is reaching outward, and meeting these mysterious entities half-way? Maybe the result is a merging of intentions that is creating these highly tailored experiences in my life? This has the ring of truth too.

Maybe it's all self generated, and there is no outside force at all. As I ponder this concept, it doesn't feel right. I get the distinct impression that there is something very mysterious that is influencing my life.

I am a cartoonist with a playful sense of the absurd. My drawings (and my personality) seem to revel in a sort of warm hearted and mischievous outlook on everything. This statement seems accurate, and I am self-aware enough to feel that saying that is honest. And - curiously enough, my experiences seem to manifest with "plot elements" that match my truest personality quirks.

(An example HERE, and another one HERE)

A mystery is being laid out before me, seductively urging me to follow. And in a very real sense, it is most certainly MY mystery, and MY path alone.

___________________________________________________

5 comments:

Dan Mitchell said...

Mike,

I answered this comment on my blog, but just want to add a couple things. I've made huge mistakes in the past by drawing premature conclusions on the phenomenon. Admittedly, parts of the encounter experience have been remarkably terrifying leading me to view the experience in general as evil. I think it's important to keep in mind that whatever I write on my blog is really just me thinking out loud and trying to traslate the experience in whatever form it may take at a particular time. I do understand that people have different ideas about the experience. One thing I do know is that it is multi-layered. It often presents itself in strange ways, gives you certain ideas that seem to lead toward dead ends. Then it disappears, sometimes for years, only to re-emerge presenting itself in a completely different manner. All of these ideas are eventually being outgrown.

Because of the kind of person I am, this has been the most frustrating aspect of the experience. I am forced to move even when I get comfortable in a mode of thinking--but I have gotten better and am moving along with it-penetrating deeper into its lair even if it means I make a few wrong turns along the way. So while I am presently exploring an option, I think it is important to keep in mind that most likely all I have found is just another layer of the experience that may eventually be cast away.

Dan

Brizdaz said...

Re:
"Another thought: Is there some part of me, some higher self (of future self, or astral self, or my soul-self) that is reaching outward, and meeting these mysterious entities half-way? "

I would say that's the bet you should lay your money on,because if everything is self generated,then you are just a part of MY self-generation and therefore YOU don't exist.-)

muzuzuzus said...

I feel like you that the very NATURE of Deep Reality is Love. Not 'fluffy love' lol though of course I am not ANTi cutesy wootsie and all that. But I mean Love that is beyond comprehension. it is the very source of feeling and meaning. hence when we experience deep we become aware of dimensions and meanings which by their very nature are explorations INTO meaning.

The patriarchal-philsophical dichotomous mindset will cut reality into analytical bits and then believe its thinking-action doing so IS reality, when it really is not. So they would spit 'heaven' from 'hell' and have one better than the other and have both 'everlasting'. But as any experienced Tripper knows, the 'bummers' usually give the best insights!

Red Pill Junkie said...

"So while I am presently exploring an option, I think it is important to keep in mind that most likely all I have found is just another layer of the experience that may eventually be cast away."

Sure they all may be just layers upon layers of contradicting meaning. But I think the point to consider is how much the layers enable *you* to polish and perfect yourself.

So in the end you might not be able to crack the ultimate code as it were, but you might get to a point where you are just content enough with how much you've advanced as a person.

And if that's the case, who cares if it's all self-generated or not?

I told you about strawberry fields,
You know the place where nothing is real
Well here's another place you can go
Where everything flows.
Looking through the bent backed tulips
To see how the other half lives
Looking through a glass onion.

Anonymous said...

"Maybe it's all self generated, and there is no outside force at all. As I ponder this concept, it doesn't feel right. I get the distinct impression that there is something very mysterious that is influencing my life."

Why either/or? Couldn't it be that, on some level, YOU ARE the outside force influencing your life?

I recently took part in a psilocybin research project at a university not far from where I live, and I had an experience that... well words don't do it justice. Anyway, I had the distinct impression that I made contact with... I don't even know what to call them/it... E.T.? U.T.I? Angels? I guess Higher Intelligence will have to do. Weirdly enough, I actually had the presence of mind to ask the H.I. questions. Stuff like, what are you? Where are you from? Sounds crazy, I know. And of course people will say, "Well it's just the drugs." Yea, maybe... or maybe not. It seemed awfully real!

And this happened in a room with two other people-- trained scientists/psychologists-- and was conducted under rigorous scientific conditions. It wasn't like it was a couple of college kids getting off their heads.

Anyway, it has certainly shifted my view of what is possible.