Tuesday, March 2, 2010

one year old

As of today, this blog is one year old.

Something has happened to me since the first post. I’ve changed.

This is the 82nd post. The first posting went up on March 3rd 2009, and it was a short essay about my cat and how she plays with string, and the very first comment was from Mac Tonnies.

A lot has happened in the last year. Before writing this I carefully (and slowly) scrolled through the entire archive, something I’ve never done before. I have been extremely careful not to add anything extraneous or off-topic to this site (except this). Believe me, I’ve found plenty of really interesting on-line articles that I could have shared, but I chose not to. This blog, whatever it is, seems to want to remain focused on my own experiences, and I really care about the content. True to the title of the blog, something seems hidden from me, but I can’t quite define what that might be.

When I re-read my earlier writings, it’s obvious I was awash in an anxious set of emotions. It’s not easy looking at some of that stuff, but that urgency has subsided, but it hasn’t entirely disappeared. That earnest feeling has it’s own energy and it pushes me forward, like a detective in a mystery story.

I’ve met some wonderful new friends as a result of this blog, and that means more to me than I could possibly share in just words. My email in-box is now loaded with correspondence from people directly affected by the same curious affliction that seems to be interacting with me. This communication is profoundly rewarding. I’m also receiving emails from people who are eager to share their stories (often eerily similar), they are reaching out to me and it feels good that maybe my writing can be helpful to them.

There is a posting from March 25th of last year titled: Deep Feelings and Blogging. This was a good one for me to re-read on this baby’s first birthday.

I have no idea where this strange path may lead. Maybe all this weirdness will come to a screeching halt, but I don’t think so. All I can say for sure is that I will be as honest as I can be as I proceed forward.


Christopher Knowles said...

Happy birthday!

Marla Frees said...

Your process has touched so many....be proud of this experience and that it has a life...Happy Birthday ...no longer Hidden

Natascha said...

Happy birthday Mike Clelland!
Thought it would be a good day to give birth to my new blog, too. I started it espcially for you... So that you can understand the words and write comments, too.
Looking foreward to read more from your (hidden) experiences, all the synchronicities and please add more of your awesome drawings.

Red Pill Junkie said...

No birthday party is ever complete without... piñatas!! ^_^

Ankka said...

Keep up the good work Mike. I think you're doing something very wonderful here. ;)

Anonymous said...

~~ Larissa here:

I fear I have been neglecting you here lately myself. *guilty look*

However, for what it's worth, I've very much enjoyed your blog about your personal experiences. In truth, I'm trying to get myself to a point where I do more of what you do here-- write about my own "outside the box" stuff. Past or present!

You inspire me. Thank you.