floating dream and fear

Yesterday morning I woke with my heart pounding after a weirdly vivid dream.

There must have been more leading up to this, but the first thing I remember is being in the house where I grew up. Everything seemed to exactly match my old home, and that’s unusual, places in my dreamscapes are almost always distorted somehow.

It was nighttime and I was in the front foyer looking out a window facing the front yard and street. I could see that there was a bright light shining out of the garage and lighting up the driveway. This seemed odd and I wondered what was in the garage. The light made me really nervous. I needed to know what it was, and walked through the house so I could open the the door to the garage.

I got to the kitchen, turned on the light and realized I was floating. There was this familiar feeling, like I had done this many times and it was normal. I could concentrate in a way that kept myself up off the floor, and sort of willed myself toward the back hallway. I turned the corner and smoothly floated to the inside garage door.

I knew I had to open the door to see what was in the garage, but I was scared. I didn’t hesitate, I opened the door and the garage was empty. Then I woke up. I lay there in bed with an oppressive sense of dread, and it took a long time to shake the feeling.

_____________________________________

a dream of falling to my death

Image of my neighbor's home, the dream was is the summer, but the only good photo I found was in winter (with a moose)

This morning I awoke from a haunting dream. I was standing on very top of a tall ladder positioned my old next door neighbors roof, it seemed like I was trying to help with something on a the peak of the roof, maybe the chimney of some sort of tall antenna. This was a two story house and I was way up there, maybe forty feet or more above the ground.

There came a point when I looked down and saw one of the legs of the ladder had moved a little bit, and it was just enough that it slipped off the edge of the metal roof. In that moment I felt the ladder tipping and there was nothing I could do about it. I was slowly falling out away from the edge of the house, and looking down at the the rocky yard.

I knew I was about to die, and there was nothing I could do. Everything was happening in this eerie slow motion. There was no fear, just a feeling of inevitability, and I thought to myself, “Oh, this is what people mean when they say time slows down.”

I’d pitched off the ladder and was dropping toward my neighbor’s yard. I made a calm declaration to myself, “There is still so much more I can do here, if I live I will do more.”

I watched the ground rushing up, but there was no impact. I calmly opened my eyes and was lying in bed, looking at the dark window next to me.

_______________________________________

Jacob and Esau, a metaphor of the hairy ape and modern human

Hairy Esau realizes he's been duped! 

(art by R. Crumb)

Linked below is short excerpt from the 1994 book TAKEN by the late Dr. Karla Turner. (PDF of the entire book HERE)

This is one of the more bizarre things I’ve ever read in a book about UFO abduction (or any book for that matter). Turner was was an insightful and open-minded researcher, author and abductee; so much so that she was somewhat ignored by many within the research community.

What follows is a re-examination of the story of Jacob and Esau from the book of Genesis; this was  presented to Dr. Turner in a theatrical virtual reality dream. A set of hidden entities were trying to explain something to her. Are the twin brothers in this biblical story a metaphor that explains the alien intervention of the human species? Was the the lowly hairy caveman altered to create a smooth skinned intellectual product of genetic manipulation?

The PDF document includes illustrations from R.Crumb's Book of Genesis, the entire Jacob and Esau story linked HERE.

Dr. Karla Turner - Jacob and Esau by Mike Clelland

Click on the button on the far right to view in FULL-SCREEN mode.

_________________________________________________________

hyper-vivid distorted consciousness

Hyper-vivid memory from 1993

In January or February of 1993 I awoke from a sound sleep and looked out my bedroom window to see five spindly gray aliens walking towards my house. This sighting lasted, maybe, less than 20 seconds.

This happened over twenty years ago. Since then I’ve written about this, drawn pictures and wrestled with the implications. I did a long post where I tried to honestly express the strangeness this memory. At the core of this experience was a very real change in normal perceptions, a kind of distorted consciousness. I try to describe this odd feeling in detail when I initially wrote about the overall experience (linked HERE).

It felt dreamlike, but it was different than any other dream I’ve ever had. Here is an excerpt of what I wrote:

This memory is strangely vivid in a way that seems entirely different form a normal state of mind... weirdly quiet - sort of a pressurized fish bowl - the deepest part of my psyche is displaced and moved to the forefront - the normal thought chatter in my head is turned off - maybe - kinda - sorta...

A distinct warping of my psyche, whatever that means... because this strangely vivid state of mind was so weird, I do not fully trust this memory.

This distorted feeling has a flavor that is absolutely distinct. Attempting to describe it in words would only hint at the sensations. All I can say is that what I felt was unmistakably unique. I have made a very real effort to ask other UFO abductees if they have ever experienced this altered state of consciousness. I've had conversations where we describe what I feel is the same exact distorted sensation.

I’ve had three other experiences that seem to indicate to me that what happened in 1993 wasn’t a dream.

One event took place in January of 2001. Again, I had this exact same feeling while waking up under extremely bizarre circumstances. The story is complex and it was written up a long and detailed post (linked HERE).

A funny dream with a little UFO

Another example took place in the summer of 2008, the same feeling manifested itself within a dream. This is actually a funny little story and it fits neatly into a little subcategory I’ve been calling my reassuring dreams. I went through a phase where I would have very vivid dreams where a lesson or example would be conveyed within the dream narrative.

This dream has me interacting with a small flying saucer and as I moved closer I could feel the sensation of the oddly distorted reality. I could control it by moving in close and backing away. Again, this feeling was exactly the same as what I experienced in 1993. I posted and illustrated my memories (linked HERE).

a hyper-vivid experience inside a tent near Dolores Colorado

Finally, I felt this sensation again while floating up out of the tent during an event in 2010. Of all my odd experiences this one seems to scream UFO abduction. I wrote about this (and all it’s associated synchro-weirdness) in a series of posts with illustrations (linked HERE).

So, I’ve had four very distinct experiences with this odd sensation, each connected to something very strange. After the event seeing the aliens out my window in 1993 I just dismissed the whole thing as nothing more than a weird dream. It did feel dreamlike and denying the implications seems understandable given my life at that point. But since then I’ve had three other experiences where I felt that same distinctive feeling making that outright denial almost impossible.

At this point, 20 years later, I’m at a point where I must conclude that the event in 1993 really happened and it wasn’t just a dream. I say this not because of my very clear memories of that night, but because of the follow up experiences.

This has been a pattern for me. I will deny the implications of a defining event, but later come to accept it’s reality because of a series of intertwined experiences. These seem to come in the form of synchronicities, psychic flashes, vivid dreams, lines on maps or owl interactions. My sense is that the universe is showing me something, and if I don’t acknowledge the significance there is a follow up bunch of weird experiences that force me to reexamine the deeper meaning.

(a little bit more)

I have never written about this one tiny aspect of the 1993 event because it was so hard to justify. The way I initially explained the distorted feeling came almost as a reflexive response. Here’s what I told myself:

You know that feeling when you are a little kid driving in the car with your parents and you fall asleep and then wake up where you didn’t expect to be? That’s what this felt like.

That description seems to feel close. I am picturing myself as a little boy falling asleep with my forehead against the car window while on a long drive with my parents. The steady droning of the car will induce a sort of vivid dream-state where I could visualize looking out the window at the passing scenery, but if I opened my eyes the view wouldn’t match what I was dreaming. Now, this might easily reinforce that it was nothing more than a dream. But, the more mysterious implication is that waking up in a car where you don’t expect to be has the distinct flavor of a missing time event.

__________________________________________________

dream image with a raven

tidy art direction from the 1970's

I had a vivid dream just before I awoke, this happened on the morning of August 18th. I clearly saw a kind of graphic poster. It had a tidy listing of five bulleted points but I can only remember the first thing on the list. I'm pretty sure it stated: "Follow your heart." But it might have said, "Follow your heart chakra."

This beautiful and clean image came after I spent three days and two nights in the Pryor Range of southern Montana. This is a sacred place for the Crow Nation (and that's a raven in this image). I went there because I was drawn by a deep need and a lot of synchronicities. More on that visit soon.

I went there to get a message of some sort, and while I was there nothing really happened. The only thing I got was this nicely art directed dream image. It had a background of dark yellow and Upper and lower case helvetica in white letters. I am extremely clear on this because it so beautifully captures the art direction style from the 1970's.

I checked out Diana's Animal Spirit site and here is a list of Raven's Wisdom:

• Rebirth without fear
• Ability to tear down what needs to be rebuilt
• Renewal
• Ability to find light in darkness
• Courage of self-reflection
• Introspection
• Comfort with self
• Honoring ancestors
• Connection to the Crone
• Divination
• Change in consciousness
• New occurrences
• Eloquence

The pages in Medicine Cards by Sam's and Carson are even more profound. I got this book a year ago today. The chapter is long, so I'll include it in the comments below.

it sorta looked a little more like this in the dream

More about the image. Each of the other numbed points were equally simple instructions, but I have absolutely no memory of what they were. When I created the graphic image, I found I really liked the way the simplified image looked (the top image) and I am featuring that, even though it doesn't match my memory exactly.

One more thing, whatever it might imply, this essay was posted on my 50th birthday.

_________________________________________________

Text added Sept 25th 2013

This post has everything to do with the map, Byron Wyoming and the giant triangle across the middle of the country. It was from this series of experiences all connected with that map that I ended up sleeping out in the Pryor Range, the traditional home of the Little People.

_________________________________________________

sketch from a dream

sketch from a dream, drawn the next morning

On December 17th of 2011 I sent an email to Kim Carlsberg and asked if this sketch (above) meant anything to her.

She replied with a very short answer:

 incubation chamber

Here’s the genesis of this sketch. I drew this after having a very vivid dream memory. It was vivid in a way that seemed important. The sketch was an attempt to show a sort of shelf system with little glass windows. Probably about waist high or a little higher. I drew this image the morning after my one and only hypnotic regression with Budd Hopkins. I remember quickly scribbling it in a sketchbook the very next morning; Oct 24th, 2007.

In the dream this shelf system was garishly colored with electrically intense yellows, greens and reds. It felt like everything was painted in day-glow paint.

Kim is an outspoken contactee who spoke did an interview with me on this site (linked HERE). She also published the coffee table book: The Art of Close Encounters. She pointed me to page 141 in her book (see below), this shows something somewhat similar to the sketch I sent to her. In a way, I sent that sketch to her because I knew what her response would be, and in a way, it confirmed what I suspected.

Illustration by Chuck Chroma

I’ve met Kim a few times at conferences, and she will laugh in my face when I say that I’m not sure if I’m actually an abductee. This isn't mean, she has a point.
________________________________________________________

The term "incubation chamber" shows up in the abduction lore. People will report seeing walls of aquarium like boxes with tiny hybrid fetuses floating in some sort of liquid. The implication is that these aliens are involved in some sort of program involving genetics and breeding.
________________________________________________________

reassuring dreams, two nights in a row

For a while I was keeping a sort of diary of my experiences, I would just sort of dump them into a document on my computer. This document is now 111 pages long. I haven’t added anything in a long time, but I remembered about two dreams that seemed curious, and I searched them out. Here’s what I wrote: 

_____________________________________________________

June 5th 2008

I am in Alaska working for an outdoor school. I just got done teaching a mountaineering course, and now I am at the base camp, a lovely farm north of Anchorage. I sleep in a little wall tent off in the woods near the farm. There is no nighttime, it's always daylight this time of year. 

I have had two weirdly vivid dreams, two nights in a row. 

The first was a full-blow abduction dream. Interior of an alien craft, a cold table, telepathy, weird alien hybrids (they looked like tiny shrunken old men) and people (yup, normal people) on the craft too. 

The exact details are extremely foggy, but the overwhelming impression was a sort of relief. There was NOTHING scary about this dream. The alien hybrids were small and nonthreatening. The people on-board seemed to have a purpose and a job, and it was somehow for the collective good. 

And the little aliens seemed so normal, I wasn't intimidated in the least. I literally thought to myself, "This is them? Why am I afraid of these dinky little things?" 

And, the most vivid memory from this dream was the telepathy and how it sounded in my own head. It was EXTREMELY clear and free of any "static." I was impressed, I thought: "Wow, this is working super well, there's no need to worry about communicating, because it's SO clear." 

The next morning I tried hard to remember what was told to me during the finely tuned telepathy, but I couldn't remember. 

Now, lemme say, this was a dream. Not some foggy memory of anything real. But I woke up feeling relived and at peace. There was something deeply reassuring about this dream, I was confronted with something that should have been scary, but it wasn’t, instead it just felt so normal. 

And then the following nights dream: 

This was filled with very moody and frightening images. Huge air-force jets chasing things in the sky, and people on the ground (myself included) watching helplessly. Eventually there was a terrifying nuclear explosion on the distant horizon, then bunches of them. I took shelter in a sort of children's puppet theater. And there was a reoccurring image of a boy "emerging" from a stage prop over and over. 

How do I interpreter this? The overtly theatrical ending, literally on a stage makes me wonder. And the weird repeating emergence of a little boy out of an obvious stage prop. It was a sort of jack-in-the-box thing, and the claustrophobic little stage reminded me of that theater in Disneyland with the mechanical Lincoln.

Anyway - both dreams were JUST dreams, and they were extremely vivid, colorful, cinematic and weirdly 3D. 

This weird imagery in both of these dreams is probably nothing - I want to convince myself of this - these are JUST dreams. It's probably nothing but my poor tortured psyche dealing with the 24 hour sunlight. But it feels weirder than that.

_____________________________________________________

These are what I’ve been calling reassuring dreams, and I went through a period where I was having a bunch of them. And by reassuring, I mean the dream has a scary element of the UFO abduction phenomenon, but it isn’t scary at all. What I experience in the dream is sort of bland and normal. I've created a label for these dreams, click HERE for all of them.

Here's a good example of a (funny) reassuring dream.

There is a follow-up post below, another reassuring dream report, and this one seems even stranger.

All these reassuring dreams feel like a sort of projection from outside of myself. They FEEL like an implanted dream experience that is meant to calm me down - to REASSURE me. I haven't had an experience like this in a few years, these dreams all seemed to cluster around that summer. I think I know what I am implying. I have no other way to describe these dreams other than the way it feels.

_____________________________________________________

Please note: 

The excerpt above has been edited slightly from the form I found it in the diary. I cleaned up some grammatical stuff and added a few extra sentences for clarity.

_____________________________________________________

a terrifying dream that changed to full consciousness

On the night of August 15th I experienced some sort of extremely vivid dream that had a profound impact on me.

I was sleeping at a friends house, and the beginning of the experience was rather dreamlike, although it felt entirely real. I was in the exact location of where I was dreaming, and this was decidedly unusual, it just doesn’t happen to me very often, and when it does there seems to be something paranormal at play. I remember at one point I left the bed I was lying in, went down the stairs and out into the driveway to look at the nighttime sky. There was a sense of waiting, or expectation.

In this part of the dream I seem to remember doing mundane things, like turning the lights on as I moved through the apartment. I came back inside and I remember walking in a hallway that matched the house I grew up in, and this brief moment felt decidedly like a dream.

Shortly after that I returned to the bed.

Then I seemed to have woken up with a jolt, but I strongly suspect that I was still in this dream-state. I looked up and saw five beings (I think it was five) standing around the bed. The bed is just a mattress on the floor, and I was looking up at these beings, and my guess is they were about four feet tall. They were just misty white apparitions, like they were made out of glowing fog. They were just a sort of human shaped outline, and they seemed to be standing motionless.

The image of multiple beings around the bed were vague, and it’s hard for me to remember much. But it matched the interior of the bedroom exactly.

I sat up in bed and put my arm out to touch one of these beings, and my hand passed right through them, but I felt an odd sensation of fuzziness, or a sort of spider web feeling. I was intrigued by this sensation.

I remember feeling absolutely no fear at all as I reached out to them. I felt oddly curious.

But, something else happened, and it seems like it took place a short time after sitting up. It was like an odd flip-flop in the otherwise calm narrative of this dream. What I experienced was unimaginably terrifying.

I was suddenly experiencing a frenetic slide-show of freakish images, it was taking place in my heightened dream-state. The images were like something out of a gruesome set of heavy metal album covers, each image was like a finished piece of surreal artwork. They were bloody and perverse. These highly stylized snapshots looked like a H.R. Giger nightmare. Each hideous image would last less than a second, and then the next would appear, and the next, and the next.

The creepy artwork of H.R. Giger

Initially I was bombarded by these dark visuals while in this dream-state, but the intensity of what was happening seemed to jar me awake, and then I was staring blankly at the bedroom wall. The room was lit with the soft glow of early morning. At this point I was most definitely awake but the slide-show kept going.

These horrific images continued to flash before my eyes, they were literally in a rectangular frame, as if projected in berserkly high resolution on a sort of screen floating directly in line with my sight.

This crazy slide-show of images was something I have never experienced before. Quite honestly, I thought I had gone insane and this was terrifying.

I lay there, with my eyes open and my heart pounding, experiencing a kind of panic attack, but I don’t know how long this fully conscious part lasted. Maybe less than a 30 seconds. But it was enough to scare the shit out of me, the feeling of absolute madness was overwhelming.

Eventually, it faded away, and I was left shaken and drained. When I did get up, I was functioning poorly, and the rest of the day was effected.

Two days later I emailed Anya Briggs in New York, and tried to explain what happened. Anya is a powerful psychic and a friend, I trust her insights. (her blog linked HERE)

The burning question I for Anya was this: Did I get abducted the other night?

She was quick to respond and she reassured me that I did NOT get abducted (and that’s what I felt too) but that some sort of interaction had happened.

________________________________________________________

Below is an edited excerpt of a recorded call between myself and Anya a few days later. She did something that seems to happen a lot when we talk together, she slipped into channel mode, and she began to communicate with her guides.

Anya: You are piercing the veil between one reality and the next, they are inter-dimensional beings, they are from somewhere else, they’re not of this world physically and it was real. You weren’t dreaming.

They’ve done this to me. They’ll do something to your head to make you feel like you’re dreaming. That was technology that was used on you. Fear is an acronym for False Expectations And Reality.

This was an initiation and you failed (she laughed), the frequency was so high it frightened you.

Mike: It felt like all of a sudden my mind had been overridden, and I was thrust into this rapid fire slide-show, the images were terrible, gruesome, like H.P. Lovecraft, bloody, monsters - and I had no control over it.

I had lost the ability to control my mind. The sensation of losing my mind was very real, and that really freaked me out, that sensation of insanity.

Anya: Maybe you were temporarily hijacked?

Mike: It sure felt like it!

Anya: You must understand that this is an initiation for a certain type of species to reach out to you, to understand the fear construct better.

And what they were doing, believe it or not, it may have seemed like torture or punishment or something that was thrust upon you against your will, but you had asked for this, Dear One, they’re saying.

It was an outreach program that failed. Their methodology was not working so they’re going to try a different tactic again at some point, to try and understand the fear input without freaking you out. Please understand this was not done with malicious intent. It was not meant to frighten you, but it had the opposite effect. They didn’t understand this.

They wanted to see what you understood as far as the fear construct, and your reaction. The interpretation of events did not go well, and we apologize for that.
________________________________________________________

Note: August 15th is the date that Anya Briggs calls her awakening. I have another friend with profound psychic experiences, Susan MacLeod, who also says that August 15th was her awakening. These happened in different years.

Also: I was going to draw an image of the glowing beings around the bed, but this post is so dark, I don't really feel all that inspired. Maybe someday.

________________________________________________________

lucid dream with John Keel

The late John Keel speaking in 1992

Last night I had a wonderfully pleasant dream where I was at a UFO conference, and I was delighted to meet none other than John Keel. I was eager to talk with him, and we left the big hall and walked outside together, he was engaging and smiling. We walked in a bleak desert environment with parking lots and an old gas station.

Now, I knew perfectly well that this was a dream, and I knew Mr. Keel had died, but I was very aware that I might be interacting with his spirit in this vivid dream realm. It seemed entirely possible that this dream realm might be overlapping with the spirit realm.

I asked how he was doing, and he smiled and said: “Oh fine, just fine.”

And then I nervously asked, “Well, from where you are, and what you know, how am I doing, I mean with this ongoing research stuff?”

I can’t remember how he answered. I do know he smiled and was genuinely positive (he looked and acted exactly as in the video above). As best as I can guess, he said I was doing fine.

We went to the gas station, and he bought me a cup of coffee. I remember he counted out the change on the counter by first setting a handful of coins out, and then he magically levitated a few back up into his hand, in order to make exact change.

__________________________________________________________

irrational fear inside our tent

Dream image inside a tent, where I felt myself floating up above my pad with a glowing flat mandala circle off to the side.

I just returned home after spending two beautiful weeks in the four corners area. A close friend, Natascha, flew in from Germany specifically to explore and camp in the canyons and sandstone of this amazing part of the West.

During our trip we had a collection of curious happenings, and this posting is one of the more dramatic experiences. Natascha is here with me as I write this, and she’s been adding details she remembers as we try and make this written work as accurate as we can.

We were on our way north back to Idaho when we noted some issues with the brakes on my car. We went into a small mechanic shop in Cortez Colorado and they pretty much said we would die if we drove on the broken brakes. So, we were stuck down in the four corners area for five more days waiting on parts. We rented a cheap car and made the best of it.

Late in the afternoon of Thursday May 13th, Natascha and I asked the very nice coffee shop girl (wearing a very groovy hippy dress) in Cortez if she knew of any spots to camp near town. She said there was open camping on the BLM land outside of the town of Dolores, just a few miles up the road.

We followed her directions and ended up in a secluded area of tall trees a short ways off the forest service road. We found a secluded spot with an old fire ring and some broken beer bottles. Perfect for our one-night camping needs.

We set up our tent and headed back into the town of Dolores and ate pizza at a cute local brewery. Our table was situated right next to the window and it looked out on the very quiet corner of a VERY tiny town.

During dinner, Natascha was quite emotional. As I write this she explained that she was very much in crisis, she was feeling sad and didn’t quite know where these emotions came from.

After pizza we went back to the camp site and climbed in our small tent. It seems like we quickly went to sleep. This is where things get strange.

I was suddenly jolted awake because Natascha had screamed. It was just a short shriek of fear. My instantaneous response was to bolt upright and scream with an intensity that would be hard to describe. I was screaming in fear, sure enough, but it was also a primal outburst of defense.

I've slept in the mountains for decades, and I've dealt with some scary stuff in the dark. Bears in camp, moose tangled up in my tarp strings, rats crawling across my face - but I have NEVER been frightened in a way that would come close to those moments in that tent.

I switched on my headlamp and held it in my hand. I asked Natascha what happened. I actually had the wherewithal to say, "Tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. Don't think, just tell me what happened."

She said almost nothing, simply stating, "I saw a face."

Natascha later explained that she felt blocked, like it was simply impossible to tell what she had actually seen. She also tried to articulate that she was perhaps still in a lingering realm where time had a different meaning, and I was firmly in our time reality, and it created a sort of disconnect between us.

While in the tent in the moments after our screaming session, I stammered to Natascha, in a voice on the verge of panic: "Look - if we need to - we can just leave - right now - we can leave the tent set up and just drive to town and get a hotel room - we can do that if we need to..."

I was freaked-out, and it came out in my voice. This is something I would never say in any normal circumstance.

She asked me, "Do you believe in evil ghosts?"

I thought carefully and replied, "No." My response was less out of honesty, and more an attempt to keep the mood from getting any scarier.

At some point I looked at my watch, and it was only 11:40 PM. My reaction was, oh sh*t, it's so early and now we have to worry about scary stuff for the rest of the night!

I had one arm over Natascha as we lay there. We sat in silence for a short time, we must have spoken a little, but I can’t remember anything of what we said. Perhaps we were both silent. I know my heart was pounding, and my thoughts seemed trapped in a kind of horror.

I lay there thinking, "This is f*cking terrifying. This is insane. How could I EVER camp out here? How could I ask for this kind of f*cking sh*t!" My mind was spiraling out of control.

I ended up chanting a repetitive mantra in my head, "Love and Light, Love and Light, Love and Light..." Over and over and over. This is how Anya Briggs ends her emails, and it might seem corny, but I really MEANT it!

At one point I put my arm back in my own sleeping bag and promptly fell asleep. I have to say it seems weird as I write this that I could slip back into sleep after being SO freaking' terrified. It seems impossible that we could both simply doze off again.

Later that same night I had a dream. This was a weirdly vivid dream. It took place inside the same tent, no dreamlike distortion, it was very accurate to the interior of the tent. (see the illustration above) I'll add that this dream was NOT scary in the least, it was curiously void of any emotion - good or bad.

I saw a big round mandala figure up and too my left, situated in a very specific point in the tent. It was a simple circle about the size of a large pizza with a lone dot in it's center. It looked very much like the blurry cataract image in my right eye, and strangely flat unlike a 3D orb. (more on that below).

Then I was floating up off the floor of the tent. The elevator-up sensation of slowly up rising felt strangely familiar (more HERE). I thought to myself, "I need to remember this - I need to remember this - I need to remember this..."

Then the the environment of the tent changed to a backdrop of white light. I thought, "Am I on a table? Am I on a table?" I didn't understand where I was. It was a mysterious realm with a uniform white glow around me. Was I on my back? Was I upright?

The dream abruptly ended when Natascha spoke up and said, "Mike, you are floating!" I don't think she actually said this, but I remember it clearly in that dream state. Her words sort of pulled me back down onto the sleeping pad, and the dream ended.

The next morning we immediately began to talk about the events of the night and more details emerged.

I asked Natascha what she saw that made her scream, and she explained that she saw a face within a circle. I pressed her for more details and she said, "I can’t say, but the only thing that seems to match is that drawing you did, of the face in the circle from your blog." [ link ]

This was very curious, she didn't know about my dream yet, and she described something very similar to the round mandala I saw. The way it looked to me was like the image I see in my right eye.

I asked where the face was positioned, at the time I assumed it was directly over her, centered above her face. She instead pointed up and off to her left, at an area in the wall of the tent - exactly where I saw the glowing circle in my dream. Again, I hadn't shared the events of my dream yet. More weirdness about this mandala shape HERE.

Notes from my small sketchbook, written the morning after the experience in the tent.

What actually might have happened is very difficult to say. I cannot dismiss the irrational fear that overcame both of us. This feeling of terror was entirely different than any emotion I have ever experienced, amplified in a way that seems extraordinary. I must have sensed something beyond a jolt of surprise when Natascha woke me with a short scream.

What is even more bizarre was the extremely vivid nature of my dream, along with the matching details to whatever Natascha witnessed. This is also extremely curious.


NOTE: I modified the swear words so the automatic blog format doesn’t add a extra blocking window when readers try and log on.

__________________________________________________________

Part TWO to this story inked HERE

__________________________________________________________

Follow-up posting:
There was an odd mark on my chest that appeared, as far as I can tell, from this experience in the tent. Click HERE for more on this disturbing story.

____________________________________________

Mac Tonnies and friends yukking it up in Wyoming

Additional info added Jan 28, 2012:

I found this image on-line, it was posted by a member of the film-crew from Canada that traveled with Mac in 2009 to produce a documentary for CBC television. I was struck by the orb in the photo, and it immediately reminded me of the floating mandala shape I saw inside the tent. Now, this floating orb in the photo could be nothing more than a speck of dust in front of the camera, but who knows? I am sceptical of these kinds of orb photos, but I suspect that some of them represent a genuine unknown.

____________________________________________

Max Ernst, The Twentieth Century, 1955

Text added Feb 11, 1012:

I found this image on a Secret Sun posting about Max Ernst. The mandala sphere in this painting seems to closely match my memory of the glowing circle in the tent.

____________________________________________

Text added March 13, 2013:
This experience shows up on a curious map with other odd events all lined up in a straight line in southern Utah. (linked HERE)
____________________________________________

Text added March 25, 2013:

In June of 2011 I had the honor to sit in as the guest host for Whitley Strieber's on-line subscribers and inter view Dr. Janet Eizebeth Colli. I had done my own interview with Dr. Colli just a month earlier. During this follow up interview we talked about this event in the tent with Natascha. This all ties back into the yellow line on the map of southern Utah, the tent experience was the Eastern most of the three points on that line (that's it's own bag of worms).

This conversation seems a little bit like a client and a therapist, where I ask for help and she shares her insights.

one-click audio download HERE

Thanks to Whitley for letting me post this 30-minute interview here on my site. His site is Unknown Country.

____________________________________________

audio describing the vivid lampshade dream (Laughlin 5)

Right after I had the weirdly vivid dream (from the previous post) I documented my immediate impressions into a small digital voice recorder. I'm sharing that audio, along with a little bit extra where I try and clarify some of the details.

I have no idea why this dream seems so significant.

___________________________________________________

audio download / recorded March 5th 2010 / 14 minutes long

vivid dream and blue orb (Laughlin 4)

Glowing orange dream imagery in a pine forest at night. Click on any of these illustrations for a HI-rez close-up view.

I had a weirdly vivid dream on the night of Feb 16th. The next morning I was going to start the long drive to Laughlin Nevada for the annual UFO conference. My sleep was restless, and I had my lap top near my bed, and I listened to an audio podcast to occupy my time. Shortly after starting the podcast, I ended up asleep.

________________________________________________________

This post has an accompanying audio file

audio download / recorded March 5th 2010 / 14 minutes long

________________________________________________________

The dream began in a nighttime environment, and I an standing in a gravel parking lot (or gravel road) in a very distinct forest. The pine trees are evenly spaced, and there are no branches down low. The forest floor is flat without any undergrowth. I looked to my left to see a very weird orange light shining through the trees. I moved a little to get a better view, and I see that it was a simple lampshade set on the ground (or, maybe floating a few inches off the ground) and it's giving off a vibrant orange glow. Instantly, I had the thought that this was NOT a lampshade, it was some sort of hallucination, and something else was there.

Even in my dream state I clearly think about an event in a book by Dr. Karla Turner titled: INTO THE FRINGE. There was a creepy scene in that book where a witness describes seeing a “satellite dish” in his yard, but he knows it’s NOT a satellite dish, something else was there.

I look at the lampshade for just a few seconds, and then I find myself floating up off the forest floor. I rise up slow and smooth, and I think to myself: “Oh, this again.” My perception is that the experience is quite familiar, and actually very pleasant. This comforting feeling fits a pattern of what I call my reassuring dreams.

Floating above a black shape.

Soon I am levitating above the tall trees, and I am looking down into the pine forest. My floating body is positioned with a slight tilt forward, so I am sort of forced to look downward. Below me is a huge round circle, inky black against the pale orange glow in among the trees. I am above something, that I perceive to be a large saucer shaped craft, and I smoothly descend downward into the center of the circle.

Floating downward in a weirdly vibrant tube full of colorful symbols

The next thing I realize is that I am floating in a shiny glowing blue tube, slowly descending. The walls of this tube is covered with a collection of brightly colored puzzle pieces, and these are inlaid into the wall. Each of these shapes look like some sort of Egyptian hieroglyph, they seem to be made of candy colored plastic and they are back lit in a sort of frame. I’m reminded of a brightly colored child’s toy.

I'm compelled to pick out one distinct shape

I reach forward and pick out one puzzle piece, it’s as if I am drawn to this one shape. I hold it in my hand and examine it closely, it is shaped like a stylized “W” and I’m filled with an intense compulsion to remember it, and I focused on the outline of the shape. (more about this here!)

I continue down into the tube, and then I’m walking around in a series of blue rooms crowded with people. The rest of the dream is a little bit frenetic in it’s imagery.

The dream seems to culminate with a meeting of some sort in a daylight street scene . I'm in among a crowd of people, and there is a discussion by a small team. They are carefully explaining that everything is alright, and that there will soon be a wonderful event where UFO occupants will join us here on earth. It sounds logical and nice, but it seems a little too perfect. I approach the woman sharing the story, and tell her that I don’t believe her, that my intuition senses some sort of deception. Suddenly her eyes get big and black, and the same happens with her teammates, and she stares at me in a very threatening way. She warns me NOT to tell anyone about my feelings.

Then I wake up.

The podcast is still playing on my laptop, and I was surprised that so little time had passed given the length and complexity of my dream. I was probably asleep for less than a half hour

The dream was so intensely vivid that I did something that surprises me as I type this. I got out of bed, went downstairs and found a little digital voice recorder, and carried it back up to my bed. I lay there, under the covers, and recorded the dream as best as I could. (audio from this recording posted here)

After, describing the weird narrative, I stopped the recorder and turned off the light. In the dark I saw a small blue orb, about the size of a grapefruit floating, centered in the ceiling above my bed. I could see it for probably less than 20 seconds, and then it was gone. It disappeared quickly and smoothly. Right after it faded away, I rolled over and promptly went to sleep, an unusual reaction to seeing something so strange.

The orb was a soft focus sphere, not the flat looking image that show up on digital flash photos. It was three dimensional and glowing softly. It gave off light, but it didn't seem to light up the ceiling the way, say, a glow stick might. Could it have been something in my retina from my bedside light? Maybe, but I've slept in that room for over 16 years and I've never seen anything like that before. In the follow up to the experience, I tried to recreate the experience by looking into lights in the room (including the tiny red light on the voice recorder) and then shut the lights off, these attempts didn't come close to what I saw that night. 

This orb image is from a the homepage of a person I met during the final hours of the Laughlin conference. Her name is Jill and she is a channel. I found it on her web page, minutes after posting this essay.

________________________________________________________

NOTE: This post has an accompanying audio file, found HERE.

________________________________________________________

mythic owl dream

Owls and Hummingbirds invade my subconscious. Point of View from my eyes. Click on the image for a HI-rez view.

Two nights ago I had a VERY vivid dream with an owl.

I was somehow at a high school, it wasn't the school I went to - but I seem to be helping some students deal with something. It was the very last day of senior year for someone, maybe me?

I was in the passenger seat of a a classic 1970's station wagon, and we were driving to the high school at night, and there were two other people in the car with me, both sisters. Both looked very much the same, dark hair, small glasses - and I knew that they were both really smart. The older sister was driving, and the younger was in the back seat.

As we drove down the road (at night) there was a zipping flash, and a noise, near the windshield. I exclaimed, "Did we hit a bird?"

We soon realized that there was a bird in the car with us. I had a flashlight (where I got it, who knows) and I shined it in the back, and there was something flying around, and at first it was scary. But we all soon realized it was a beautiful hummingbird (and slightly larger than normal, sparrow sized). We were all delighted, and we gently managed to shoo it out the window. But, in just a few seconds, we realized that it was back in the car, it had flown back into an open window.

And looking in the back behind me, I saw an adult OWL peeking over the seat!

It was a cat-like screech owl, with the tufted ears and the big yellow eyes. My first reaction was, "Oh no! It's going to eat the hummingbird!"

But the girl in the back seat had the hummingbird safely cradled in her lap, and - by this time - the owl was actually laying down, like it was relaxing, with it's big taloned feet resting on the legs of the girl next to it. (see funny illustration)

Eventually (I'm not sure how) we got the owl out of the car, and the humming bird too. My gut was saying: "Uh-oh, the owl is a sign that something big is gunna go down."
We finally got to the school, and I remember being totally determined to talk to someone who taught comparative mythology, (or something like that) in order to make sense of the symbology of the event.

It was dawn by now, and I was told that there was a teacher who could help me, but he jogs in the morning. I watched as he was running away from the school down a long path in a desert like canyon below me, and the path seemed to be guarded by another beautiful cat-like owl (or, more likely - the same one). The path looked treacherous and steep, and I needed to find another way down. Right then, I saw that the teacher was jogging back up from the bottom of the canyon a different (safer) way. It seems someone told him I needed help.

I wake up.

Also, the two sisters looked a lot alike, and I think they were BOTH Anya Briggs.

What (if anything) does it mean?
______________________________________________

Why did I post this? And why did I draw the picture? I'm not sure. There was something SO overtly vivid about the dream, and I just couldn't shake it. I felt like I wouldn't get it out of my mind until I drew a picture. Also, Chris Knowles said to keep a dream log, and this one was especially intense.

______________________________________________

I sent this dream around to a few pals, and I got back a really interesting assortment of replies. I'll post these in the comments (below) so this posting isn't ridiculously long.

______________________________________________

dream log and sync log

My dream notes in a tiny sketchbook. Double click for a HI-rez image.

At the beginning of the New Year, Christopher Knowles (of the Secret Sun) wrote this in his blog:

"Here's my suggestion... keep a dream log and sync log, starting today. Keep track of your dreams and the synchronicities you observe or experience. And then see if by the end of the year the two logs haven't become one."

I thought to myself, I've already done that - It's my blog!

So here's a recent dream. I was at a high school reunion type event, it was in a bar and it seemed to be somewhere in New York City. I was in a sort of back room with some friends at a table. I see Mike Lewis walk down a hall and enter the room, and he walks right up to me.

Now, if you haven't read thru this blog, you won't know the significance of Mike Lewis (a pseudonym), read up on it HERE.

I try to start some small talk, but all I can do is blurt out: "Do you remember that night in 1974?"

Right then, he interrupts me, and talks over my words saying only: "November forth."

I try to ask him what he means, but he simply repeats himself over and over, "November forth, November forth."

I wake up.

I recognize how strange that dream is and I grab a small sketchbook near my bed and write down Nov. 4th and some notes (image above), and go back to sleep. In the morning, I try to figure out the potential significance. Was the Friday night of the Orange Flash and Missing Time November 4th 1974? It was obviously football season, and that makes sense. This was easy to check on-line, and no, that day was a Monday. Was this the Monday where Mike Lewis told me he saw, "a UFO with lights and everything?"

Maybe I'm making something out of nothing, but the least I can do is pay attention.

Will this dream merge into a synchronicity on November 4th 2010?

___________________________________________________________

Text added March 29th, 2010

FOURTH vs FORTH

Ooooops, I messed up. I made a spelling error and spell-check thought it was a different word. Do I keep the mis-spelled word in the post? Do I correct it to FOURTH?

I looked up the dictionary definition of the word FORTH. And, it reads as curiously meaningful given the context of the posting.

forth / adverb

1. out from a starting point and forward or into view : the plants will bush out, putting forth fresh shoots.

2. onward in time : from that day forth he gave me endless friendship.

reoccurring dream

a funny cartoon to represent my dream memory

Over the last week I’ve had a reoccurring dream. The imagery is decidedly foggy, so I can’t really share much. I seem to have the same dream every night, and I think it started after the six-hour phone call with Anya a week ago Saturday.

Here’s as much as I remember, I’m lying down on my side, and my brain is being filled with information. I see it visually as little items falling down and entering my head. The image I get is like breakfast cereal being pored from a box with my head being the bowl. The falling items seem like little rectangles.

On the very first night, I even saw a kitchen funnel in my ear as I lie sideways on the pillow so it was easier to pour the items. I recognize that this metaphor is downright silly, and that seems to match my temperament.

What am I being downloaded with? I’m not sure, I woke up last night and I could visualize a tidy list of everything that went into my head. Sadly, as I type this, I can’t remember anything.

During this dream, I am always lying down, and for some reason, I sense that Anya Briggs is there, and she might even be pouring the box of cereal, albeit metaphorically. And we are both wearing tight fitting dark suits, like a scuba diver might wear.

Anya Briggs emailed me this comment (slightly edited):

Ha! ... Ok, that's funny that you thought they looked like cereal or something, because to me, if they were looking like cereal, they look like LIFE cereal ... You know: "Hey Mikey! He likes it!" That cereal? Sure there's no "coincidence" here?

___________________________________________________________

thoughts on a documentary on hold

I've brought this up before in this blog, but I've been involved in a low-budget documentary on the UFO abduction phenomenon. I've tried to write about it, but the story is sorta long and complicated. I type slow and talk fast, so I recorded it as audio.

28 minutes long

___________________________________________

reassuring dreams

My weird journey has brought me face to face with a lot of people who declare themselves to be psychic, intuitive or at a higher spiritual vibration. I’m deeply skeptical of these claims, but if it’s true, I might as well chat with them. They will all ask me what I do. Do I meditate, do I pray, do I use a Ouija board?

I don’t do any of that. I sleep under the stars.

Here’s what seems to work for me. I walk into the mountains alone with a dinky backpack holding just the bare essentials. I live in a beautiful place, so this is convenient. I check the weather before I go (this means looking to see if there are any clouds in the south) because I don’t want to be bothered with a tent.

I hike until it’s dark, set out a little pad and then lay myself down to sleep. The proper term is "open bivouac" but the accepted slang is astro-bivy.

If I'm inspired, I'll go thru a simple request. I'll ask, out-loud, "Okay universe, if you want to tell me anything that could help our troubled world. Or, if there is a lesson I need, please let me know. I'm receptive."

And then I fall asleep.

The results have positively bizarre. I will have the most weirdly vivid dreams. Some of them are richly mythic, with heavy-handed metaphors. But most of the time, they are curiously reassuring. So much so, that I call these my reassuring dreams.

I don’t know what it is about me, but my sychronicities have (for the most part) been playful and - well - sometimes downright silly. Why it’s unfolding for me like this, I have no idea. Maybe because I’m a cartoonist, it’s manifesting - well - sort of cartoony.

I've met a lot of people who claim the the UFO abduction phenomenon, and when I tell them I sleep outside alone they say, "I could NEVER do that." For me, it's just the opposite, I am deeply content alone in the mountains. I love sleeping under the stars.

(more vivid and reassuring dreams to come)