Tuesday, November 1, 2011

confirmation anxiety

Single frame taken from a video of a hypnotic regression 
with Budd Hopkins in 2007. Note the 1234 within the time ount.

There is one story I haven't posted on this blog, until now. It deals with some personal details and to tell it correctly it needed to be a long essay. I've posted it (below) in a PDF reader. The story involves an experience Budd Hopkins calls confirmation anxiety. There may be no clear answer in this essay, but it does tell of my emotions and explorations during a confusing chapter of my life.

Now my point here is just to relate an interesting experience, nothing more.

This story involves a documentary, now on hold. I talk about this project HERE.

Waking Up Simultaneously
A note of thanks to Peter Robbins who played the role of editor on this essay. 


Philosopher's Mess said...

I read your article. I first want to say that, I don't want to offend you or belittle your experience, but that said, this is really flimsy.

You saw no UFO. You saw no E.T. You have no proof. Now if your point is just to relate an interesting experience, I'm with you. But if you think this experience should amount to some sort of proof of alien existence, to anyone else, I am sorry but it just can't.

The sexing in the middle of the night is nothing. It is a fairly common occurrence. Dreams, and the dream world is awkward, and it can leave us with weird feelings. I would ask you is it possible you just are reading a little too much into it?

everyone has the experience in dreams, of un-wantedness, where things are pushed upon us, and sometimes the effects of the dream, seem to linger into waking life, this explains the weird feeling you have of automated behavior.

And really think about it, I wonder how hard it is for the mind to force itself towards sex? I mean it is not like we are talking about one of the strongest, most active forces, in all of nature or anything.

Mike Clelland! said...

Reply to Philosopher's Mess:

Yep, this story might be nothing at all. But, I did have a curious emotional response in the years after, especially after hearing Kelly re-tell how she remembered the experience.

Also - I simply cannot dismiss the odd sensation I felt in the dark room. That same "head-in-the-fishbowl" feeling happened on only two other occasions, and each was relevant - if only to me and me alone.

What it might mean, I have no idea.

Red Pill Junkie said...

Thank for sharing this story Mike. And I don't presume to have any psychic abilities —the sorcerer hat I wear it just for fun ;)— but I can GUARANTEE that your little essay will eventually be found by a few persons who will be immediately relieved to know they are not alone in this sort of experiences (maybe more than a few); unlike Philosopher's Mess, I know this was your original intention all along, not trying to propel this odd experience into incontrovertible confirmation that little alien pervert scientists were snooping on you & your girlfriend.

Having said that, I admit that the first thing that occurred to me was that you had experienced some sonambulatory event. There are accounts in which people have performed rather incredible things while completely asleep —rape their in-laws, kill their family, etc— but, like you yourself state, to have both persons experience the hypnagogic state at the same time, and come back to normal waking state also at the same time, it's more difficult to explain to say the least.

Frankly, I do not know what else I can add, other than maybe trying to get in contact with Kelly again, maybe through e-mail, to further inquiry if she experienced subsequent oddities after that night, or even after the two of you split up.

Mike Clelland! said...

Follow up to the post:

In the text of the essay, i say that Budd says something unintelligible at the 1:23:45 time count.

I realized recently he was saying "semen" and he says it under his breath, almost as if he is embarrassed.

Red Pill Junkie said...

Well, taking about bodily fluids is never easy. Specially if you're not a professional physician.