Wednesday, November 14, 2012

123 and forum postings

Click on this image for a close-up view

The above image is from the PARATOPIA website forums. I did a screen grab in the summer of 2011. Not too long after that the entire forum archive was deleted.

Note the number 123. It appears in an emotionally charged place, at least for me.

The date on subject is wrong, it should read 09, that is the kind of mistake I make al the time. The last post was from Jeff Ritzman who, if I remember correctly, closed the thread; curiously on April Fools Day. He was one minute off from another 123. I think this was, for a while, the single most commented on thread on the Paratopia forums.

Here's the back-story. I was a guest on THE PARACAST (a different on-line radio show) in March of 2009, a show that David Biedny said was: "One of the most enjoyable episodes he's ever done." After that show went on-line I started a thread on both the PARACAST and the PARATOPIA forums to discuss the episode.

What followed in the next days (and weeks) was a shit-storm of meanness. Both forums took on a sort of one-upping of comments, each seemed more venomous than the one before it. I was called a delusional, a hoaxer, a liar, a name-dropper, a fabricator, a wanna-be-new-age-guru and a glorified star-f*cker.

Anyone who has dug into this blog will know that 2009 was a really volatile year for me. I was desperately trying to make sense of my experiences. I didn't try to hide that freaked-out anxiety, and it's sure present in the early posts on this blog. This was a messy time of high-strung emotions. You can hear that in my voice on that PARACAST episode, and (I suspect) it was that nervous energy that made listeners write such mean spirited stuff in both of those forums. I will add that some comments were quite supportive of my presence on the show.

It's worth noting that these forum postings seemed to parallel the emergence of a dark rift between David Biedney and the two hosts of PARATOPIA, and there was plenty of meanness welling up between them and I felt like I got caught in the middle of it. That may or may not be true, but some posts on both of these threads were about that tension, and not my performance.

A fellow blogger by the name of Kartot wrote a beautiful essay about why she was coming forward and sharing her personal experiences, she said she was inspired by my honesty and openness. She posted her feelings in the midst of the bitter ranting on the two forums. I read that almost by accident, a word I don't believe in anymore, and it came at the absolutely the most perfect time.

Note: This essay was originally posted on 11/20/2012. I changed it's position in the blog so that Nadine Lalich had a higher position on the page


Red Pill Junkie said...

It's a pity Postreason has been a bit neglected since the past few years. I liked Kartot's approach to the phenomenon.

As for forum wars... *sigh* it depends on the site I guess. Folks who frequent the Paracast message board tend to be very skeptical about almost everything in the Fortean world.

It's weird how in some sites like my own on-line home TDG I tend to play the part of skeptic, whereas in other places I end up being the 'woo woo guy' ;)

Red Pill Junkie said...

Oh, here we go again... LOL

Anonymous said...

I came across Kartott's blog a few years ago when I began reading and then posting at the original Paratopia Forum. Her experiences were quite interesting and thoughtfully presented with their high strangeness tinge that many of us can relate to.

Kartott has been a regular poster on the Paratopia Facebook group, inspite of the visciousness displayed in writings and podcasts by the two hosts.

It's hard for me to overlook someone making nice with such obvious bullies. Someone who should know better.

~ Susan

Steve said...

hi mike -
I feel a bit responsible for this post.I genuinely did not mean to drag up bad memories.I had no idea at all of your past history with them,or the fallout they created.
thanks to you guys for showing another side of the story.

Mike Clelland! said...

reply yo Steve,

I had this all written up well before you chimed in on that other post. After that post, i figured I might as well post it. It's been on my list to just drop in the line up here.

The issue is long over.

So no worries.

I made a pledge that I would post my synchronicities on this blog, and that 123 on the image above seems to fit...

Mike C!

Chris R said...

I always found Vanei to be sort of a prick, however I always enjoyed Ritzman sans Jeremey. Some of my favorite paranormal podcasts of all time are when Jeff was on the paracast. Although that got ugly quick and both sides flung S*** at each other.

Mike, I listened to the paracast episode a few years back and I personally thought you came across as sincere.

Mike Clelland! said...

reply to Chris R:

I can't disagree with you assessment of Jeremy. You know, that it's too bad that can act so harsh. He has a lot to offer, but the message is lost (to me anyway) in the way he conducts himself.

Jeff spoke about an experience with a entity he called the "Shroud Man" in one episode. I found that story fascinating. I have read a lot of channeled material, and his story has that same "feel" (as does THE KEY by Strieber). I wanted to make a shout out to that episode, with a link, but I just couldn't. The weirdness of that whole thing in 2009 just left me bitter.

And - I thought that episode on THE PARACAST was pretty good. I haven't listened to it in well over a year, but as I recall, we got into some of the deeper waters.

I told a story about a "sex" event in 2001. And I told about listening to Delores Cannon and how I "heard" something she never said.

I feel I shared these stories as honestly as I could. And both stories are told in depth on this blog.

It was those two stories that were at the center of the statements that I was delusional and a lier.

Also - I would like to add that David Biedny was very much a friend and defender of me on the PARACAST forums during that messy aftermath. His support meant a lot to me.

Mike C

Chris R said...

It is very clear now how important David Biedny was to the Paracast. I attribute David, along with yourself, as someone who has aided me in my quest to obtaining answers for some of my experiances.

David is far from perfect, but it was his roughness that made him more sincere in my eyes. For whatever reason, his stories are very calming for me. I am just glad that Gene has kept all of the archives up from the "glory days" of the Paracast.