Saturday, October 10, 2009

believing vs knowing

In the last few weeks I’ve been at the receiving end of a singular message. It’s been showing up over and over and over. There’s been an intense cast of characters who’ve shown up in my life (and even I’ve paid a few of ‘em) and each one has been hitting me over the head with this message.

Here’s what I’m hearing: I need to move on, and quit wallowing in my wishy-washy state of self-doubt. I need to deal with this. The time of wavering is over.

It feels like the universe is no longer nudging me to change, it's kicking me!

Miriam Delicado shared her insights during our audio interview:

She said, “I went thru that stage for a really REALLY long time. Is this real? Is it happening? What does it mean? It’s a real denial that you have to get over at some point. And you eventually come into a really calm clearness over your experiences and what it is that you know within yourself. That's the beauty of it, it forces you to look at all those different areas of who you are.”

Then I ask: “And when is this gunna happen? I’m very eager for this!” And we both laugh.

This was followed by a Tarot reading with gifted researcher, William Henry. He spoke in metaphor (something that I really love) using the imagery from the upturned Tarot cards as a way to visualize where I am in my life, right now and to emphasize the change that's required.

Images like a ship leaving the harbor, sunrise, the birth canal, the caterpillar leaving the cocoon and (in true new age terms) he said it was time to change my resonance.

I also had two long phone chats with David Huggins, and we spoke at length about the difference between believing and knowing. David talked to me in his calm clear way about his life journey, and how believing is a cushion, something that pads him from a deeper experience. He talked about how simply believing was somehow incomplete and it created anxiety in his life. At some point he changed, he understood that his experiences were real, and he entered a phase of knowing, and everything has been much more peaceful since that fundamental shift.

And then came the events of last Saturday night, a week to the day as I write this. This was the frenzied back and forth emails between me and my new pal Stacey. This was a whack across my head because gentle prodding wasn’t working.

Here’s what I wrote to Stacey later in the week: I saw an owl tonight while on my bike in town.

It crossed my path.

And - Last night I spoke on the phone with David Huggins. He carefully described his personal turning point. He went from believing in his experiences - to knowing. It was really moving for me, almost a pep talk (or maybe a sort of instruction manual).

Stacey replied to me “Yes going from believing to knowing is a milestone. I have no idea when that moment was for me. I know longer ‘believe’, I know, and this the difference...I am so thankful for everyday.”

All this seemed to culminate in a psychic reading with Marla Frees. We spoke for over an hour last Sunday, and this could be it’s own novel. But she was very clear that I needed to move on. I need to accept all this stuff that, deep down, I already know. This time of uncertainty needs to end.

I spent last week in a state of self examination. I’m aware that all these ongoing synchronicities, the theme of this whole blog, all seem to be nudging me (or kicking me) in one singular direction: To move beyond a mode of thinking that no longer serves me.

Now, all this implies that there is something before me, just one step farther down the path. Something that I’m capable of embracing, and that can change me. But what that might be - I truly don’t know.

16 comments:

Mike Clelland! said...

Here's a link to a story that - in essence - is telling me the same thing as the posting above.

http://hiddenexperience.blogspot.com/2009/07/curious-time-code-on-podcasts.html

It involves a conversation with Leo Sprinkle and David Biedny.

Christopher Knowles said...

Man- you are connected! I feel like such a hermit in comparison.

Careful, though- Knowledge is always unpopular. Belief is always more socially acceptable.

Mike Clelland! said...

Reply to Chris Knowles:

I'm aware at how socially annoying "knowing" can be. I guess what I'm trying to say is that lots of people have sprung up this last week, all saying the same thing. I really feel stuck, and I need to get UN-stuck.

I can say that I KNOW something has happened in my life, i don't know what it is...

I have a way of looking at my experiences that people can relate to. I really avoid acting preachy.

Red Pill Junkie said...

"He who knows, and knows that he knows"... you know? ;)

Quanta said...

Believing versus Knowing....I've been pondering that since reading your post here, and here's what I believe about knowing.... (ha ha)

The relationship of these two "arrangements of letters with assumed meanings" (i.e., "words") is an epistemological dilemma that, for an Experientialist like myself, can only be answered on a subjective basis. Believing versus knowing is a "question" of depth and certainty, and it's also a "question" that can become muddied by semantics, i.e., the way we choose to define the words....Do I believe that you see the same colour as I do when we look at a "blue" sky? I believe you see the same or a similar colour (i.e., you see what I would call "blue," not "orange"), but I cannot know so, because I don't believe I see through your eyes. Thus, I would suggest only you know your reality as only I know mine.

To me, Belief implies assumption and faith, whereas Knowing implies belief based on personal experience. So the two are interconnected in many cases - such as, you believe that the person you call your mother gave birth to you, and based on your experience, you also know that she gave birth to you - yet you don't literally remember the experience of being born. You know your mom is your mom because of the photographs, because of the physical similarities between yourself and your parents and siblings.....but how deep and valid is the knowledge until you get a DNA test, witness the test being done - maybe even learn to do the test yourself from the gathering of the DNA to the analysis of it....? You may trust the scientist who's doing the analysis, but if you haven't done the analysis yourself, do you know for certain that the scientist is telling you the "truth" when confirming your DNA is a match to your parents'?

When it comes to ET experiences, one may believe they've have had strange experiences that seem to indicate that they've interacted with what are commonly called "extraterrestrials," although without knowing exactly where they come from (e.g., outer space? inner earth?) even the word "extraterrestrial" itself implies a belief that the beings have arrived from off-planet. How would one know if the beings are from another planet or if they're interdimensional - or even from some deep underground cavern here on Earth? This is a question that only the individual can answer, and for myself, it would be difficult since in most (not all) cases I've been in an "altered state" when I experience my "encounters." So for me, based on my belief system which informs me that only what I experience do I know to be true, I can say I know I have interacted on a very personal level, both physically and psychically, with what I believe to be either extraterrestrial and/or interdimensional beings. Having additional witnesses or evidence to corroborate my experiences leads to me knowing that something odd has happened, not just believing that something odd has happened.....but knowing something extraordinary has occurred.

The depth of your experience, which includes not only personal conviction (e.g., memory) but other layers such as corroboration (e.g., additional witnesses) and other evidence (e.g., physical traces like scars as well as psychic traces like extreme synchronicities) is what ultimately, in my view, has the power to transform belief into knowledge.

staceyjwarner said...

Perhaps it's not one step down the path, perhaps you've already stepped into it and you just need to accept it....

much love

Mike Clelland! said...

(from an email from my Owl pal Peter)

Mike!

Just read yesterday's blog:

...just one step farther down the path.

in your own words "right on!" This is more than a step. It here where the journey actually begins. Up until now, it's all been preparation. Keep writing!

Peter Bernard said...

Thanks to you, I see owls all over in NYC now. On 13th street, I saw one painted on the wall, and I turned the corner onto I think 2nd avenue, and there's a second, even bigger one. I stuck an owl into the audio of side two of this Halloween record thingie: http://voiceguy.org/halloween/ as tribute to your blog.

Happy synchronicities!

Mike Clelland! said...

Peter Bernard:

I lived on the corner of 12th street and 3rd ave for a while, a block away from your owl sighting...

Cyth said...

Hi. Just thought I'd throw my two cents into the mix.

The other day a friend gave me a gift to honor my love of Halloween. Within the beautifully wrapped package there was an owl, just decorative, but an owl nonetheless. At that time I accepted it as a wonderful gift of friendship and Halloween surprise. But just now it occurred to me that I've been following your blog for a little bit and perhaps it is a communication as well ( You see, I usually do crows for my Halloween statement , not owls . Here today , I've got a big 'ole dark owl staring at me ).

I'm now just wondering......hmmmm.... Cyth

James said...

You know there is wisdom in all the responses above. All of them thoughtful and thought provoking. I dont think there is an answer to your 'predicament' that is easy, simple, or straightforward.

I think Quanta covered a lot of the territory- at least enough to clue us in to be 'suspicious' of our own parents... the point being absolute certainty doesnt exist.

Knowing that something happened and knowing what happened are not the same thing. I dont think even the people that have reached acceptance of their experiences know what is really going on...

Acceptance is a different thing. Actually I guess it is different from either believing or knowing. Maybe we arent really talking about believing or knowing... belief in some senses is a species of knowing but in another sense they are very different things.

Perhaps the Ghostbusters' 'We are ready to believe you!' and Mulder's 'I want to believe.' are not points in a continuum but different realms of meaning.

Yogi Berra had a pronounced mystical bent and when I am in need of a little wisdom I sometimes look to him for a word or two... "I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question."

I think sometimes we have arrived but as provincial as we are just havent looked around yet. One day it comes to us, a revelation, we left a long time ago.

Mike Clelland! said...

Well said James...

Thanks!

James said...

For some reason I keep thinking about this being stuck... I dont think there is anything wrong about being stuck. I think it is part of the path... smack dab on the path sometimes. And to be honest I am not sure if 'stuck' really describes where you are at... but in some sense I guess thats true.

The big question, which all of us seem to be 'stuck' at, "What is really going on here..?" is something that seems to nag, almost haunt me, perpetually.

The spectrum of 'contacts' seems so wide, encompassing such a diverse array of possibilities and encounters how do we begin to make sense of all this... and has someone, outside of God himself, made sense of all this... is there a coterie of 'magicians' somewhere that understands what is happening, why it is happening?

Does it make much difference at what level we get stuck..? We are still short of answers and immersed in that uncertainty Strieber mentions having to contend with... always.

I came across, in Wikipedia, a description of the Lensman series by Doc Smith... here is part of the background to those books:

"The Arisians, detecting the invasion of our universe by the Eddorians, recognize their rapacious, intractable nature. So they try to hide their existence from the Eddorians and then begin a covert breeding program on every world that can produce intelligent life, with the aim of producing a means to eventually destroy the Eddorian race. This they grasp that they cannot do by mental power alone and they decide that much time is needed (during which Eddore must be kept ignorant of their plans) and new races must be developed which will better be able to breach the Eddorians' mental powers than they themselves are. The new races, having done so, will naturally be better guardians of civilization than the Arisians can be and so the Arisians' role in the universe will be ended."

A covert breeding program... the X-Files and David Jacobs indeed!

I know this is a long comment... this whole issue reminds me of one of those Nasrudin stories:

"One night, Nasrudin was on his hands and knees searching for his key in a well-lit area in the centre of the street. Some of his neighbors came to see why Nasrudin was on his hands and knees.

“What are you looking for, Nasrudin?” enquired one of his neighbors.

“My door key,” Nasrudin replied.

The helpful neighbors dropped to their hands and knees and joined Nasrudin in his search for the lost key.

After a long unsuccessful search, one of the neighbors asked: “We’ve looked everywhere. Are you sure you dropped it here?”

Nasrudin answers: “Of course I didn’t drop it here, I dropped it outside my door.”

“Then, why are you looking for it here!”

“Because there is more light here!” responded Nasrudin.

This strikes me sometimes as a perfect parable of being stuck. It suggests a way out of being stuck.

Often we are disinclined to take that suggestion and continue looking where there seems to be the most light. It only makes sense we will eventually find that key in the light. The truth is we never will.

Peter Bernard said...

Wow, that explains it-- I've lived in 2 places on 12th Street myself. Wacky stuff, the synchronicities.

So who are these owls? Keel said the "aliens" were from Earth, that they've always been here.

Peter Bernard said...

Dude-- owls featured prominently in the new alien abduction movie--
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BENDh1sRPX0

They start talking about owls about 43 seconds in. A former gf of mine who also lived on 12th Street just sent me this.

teapotshappen said...

I wonder how long it will take me to get to "knowing" ... I am still having plenty of trouble with believing! I've been whalloped with so many strange events and synchronicities, but I still "backslide" into my old skeptical "rationalist" ways so easily ... oh well, I imagine that this is part of the transformative process, I wonder where/who I'll be at when it settles out a bit!