I met him and he was nice to me.
I'll add that he's a big guy, over 6 feet tall and an impressive presence in a room. When I met him (at Chet Snow's SECRETS conference in 2007) he had on a suit and tie in a room full of flowery new-age people at a UFO conference, making him even more imposing.
He was standing in a line for coffee and I introduced myself. Without any niceties, I jumped right to the issue that was deeply troubling me. I spoke about how I was trying to come to terms with my own set of experiences, which seemed to point to a series of ongoing abductions.
I said, "Looking into this, I'm really - well - really freaked out."
Whitley said, "I should say so!"
Here's what he told me next:
"You know how when you look at a lake at that moment of a beautiful sunset, and the light is reflecting off the surface of the water. What you are seeing is the color of the sky, and the dazzling display of the sunset."
He made a melodramatic hand gesture to visually describe the flat surface of a lake out in front of him, and then he continued.
"But at the same time you may get a glimpse what's under the surface of the water, but you can only see a distorted refraction. I feel that's what's going on here. We see something that we can't quite perceive, it's hidden from us - and what we DO see is distorted and refracted. There is a LOT going on under the water."
That is as good a definition as I've ever heard about this entire mixed-up quandary.