I’m in the midst of a very curious event, and I’m posting it, right now, as it’s unfolding.
I’ve been searching for answers, and something that seems to provide some insight involves me sleeping out under the stars. I’ve been going out into the mountains, alone, with the sole intent of asking the Universe for help. Yes, I know this sounds corny, but please keep reading.
Before I fall asleep, I’ll lay in my sleeping bag and I’ll ask out loud. I do this periodically, and I almost always get some sort of curious reply. It started in the form of VERY vivid dreams, and some are posted on this blog. Sometimes I’ll wake up, no dreams, nothing curious at all, but before noon I’ll find some other synchronistic event that seems to match my questioning. This post about the neuron-like nature of the internet is a good example, and it adds a deeper layer to this story.
Lately, I’ve been bringing a tiny hand held voice recorder. I’ll sit in my sleeping bag and record my appeal to the Universe. If I have a vivid dream in the night, I can record it as soon as I wake up.
Two days ago (Wed. July 29th) I hiked into the Tetons alone, I live close by, and I can get in quick. I just walk until it gets dark, and then I set up my sleeping bag. I know the weather around here, and I rarely set up a shelter.
Recently (and its an ongoing theme in this blog) I have been feeling lost and adrift. I’ve been trying to articulate my insecurities about what I’m dealing with, and it’s implications. It’s created a form of fatigue that is oppressive and confusing, and I’m tired of it. I want some answers.
As I hiked into the mountains on Wednesday afternoon, I rehearsed my speech, my appeal. I did this out loud. Is this prayer? I guess, maybe.
I feel comfortable hiking off-trail, and at about 10,000 feet this gets easy, you come out above tree-line and the terrain is open and lovely. I picked a direction (east) and just kept going, the sun was setting as I found an area just big enough to set my sleeping bag down. A little ledge of sorts, tucked in next to a little sub-alpine fir. There was a trickling spring nearby, and I was provided with a spectacular view of a canyon that sees visitors only rarely. I was perched above it, on a small platform of granite, watching the sun setting (in a blaze of orange) and the half moon rising. It was about 9:30 when I found my home for the night.
I ate a little something, I brushed my teeth, arranged my pad and climbed into my sleeping bag. Before zipping myself in, I spoke into my little digital audio recorder.
Here’s the audio of my plea:
Yes, I recognize how perfectly mushy and New-Agey I sound. But this exactly reflects my deepest feeling, right then. 1 minute, 34 seconds.
I woke up the next morning just a little before dawn. No dreams, nothing. I packed up my gear and kept going up in the calm blue-gray of the pre-dawn light. I hiked along a really pretty ridge system as the sun came up, climbed a nice peak, and then turned around, heading west, and made my way (off trail) back to my car. I got to the parking lot at about noon, and back to my house at about 1:PM.
I open my email account and my heart literally stops.
There, on my screen, was a Facebook friend request from Mike Lewis (a pseudonym for privacy).
Okay - let me fill you in, Mike Lewis was with me in 1974 as we walked home on a friday night from a high school football game. If my memory is correct, at about 9:30 in the evening, we saw a strange orange flash in the sky, and I arrived home at about 11:30. Together, as best as I can figure, we experienced about 2 hours of missing time. (see this posting for more details).
I have been searching for Mike Lewis for the last three years. Unfortunately, I’ve found a large number of folks with this very common name, but I’ve been to scared to follow up and try to contact him. The last time we saw each other was probably high school graduation in 1980, that’s 29 years ago.
The time of the incoming email from Mike Lewis was 9:38 PM, pretty close to the same time I spoke my emotional plea into that little recorder from my sleeping bag. I ask the Universe for help and it answers me.
This is a repeat of the single most important story on this blog. Please read the events surrounding Cindy Gail, and her reappearance in my life.
The orange Flash and missing time took place in Cindy Gail front yard. The Facebook friend request. The exactness of the time. And both are an overt answer to a deep need in me.
Okay - as I write this I am a little bit freaked-out. Why can’t this feel peaceful and fun? Instead it’s welling up as a stifling quandary.
My next task as a human on planet earth is to “confirm this friend request.” But I’m frozen and scared.
Added text on Sept. 3rd 2009
I have replied to the friend request from Mike Lewis. I even had a film crew in the room as I sent the note. Since that point, we've sent a few short notes back and forth. Just pleasantries. There will be a day when I ask him about that night in 1974, but it hasn't happened yet.
Added text on Jan. 16th 2010
I've just posted a dream where Mike Lewis makes a very curious appearance.