deep feelings and blogging

This blog has been a very curious thing for me. It’s a nervy way to share some extremely personal stuff.

I recently had a psychic reading from a women named Marisa Ryan who claims to communicate with dead relatives, spirit guides and aliens. Yes, I know how goofy this sounds. The fact that I did this, and actually took it seriously, says a lot about my state of mind these days. This is exactly the kind of flighty thing I would have dismissed with contempt just a few years ago.

Am I really that needy, where I’ll seek out something as silly as a psychic, and an expensive one at that? Maybe I am, because I eagerly pursued this reading.

She told me a bunch of stuff, and a lot of it seemed to resonate with me as true.

Below is a (slightly edited) excerpt of her reading.


Marisa:

I’m being told that you are supposed to be journaling all the experiences . . .

(Mike laughs out loud)

. . . and if that means going back to the very first memory you have, you need to be journaling. It’s almost like, I feel like, it’s important for you to re-experience them . . . What was your mood that you can remember? And then what was your experience, and just completely describe every bit of it. And how did you feel at that time, meaning was there any communication, did you have anxiety, did you have fear, did you love it, did you feel at peace. Every little thing that you can sense, use all your senses. Did you smell anything? Did you see anything, did you hear anything? Write it all down. And then write down how do you feel about that now. And you are supposed to go through each experience.

I’m being told that you are going to write a book, if you haven’t started already.

(Mike laughs)

It’s not necessarily for education purposed, it’s just because there are more and more people waking up that have had these experiences, like you, and they feel like they are crazy, or like they are nuts, and even though there are millions of cases out there, there are still new people waking up that are saying I don’t believe in this, or why is this happening to me - and you will bring peace to them.

One of the first thing she said to me, and she repeated it over and over was: “you are supposed to be journaling.”

Right at that time, I was compulsivly writing, and posting things on this blog. She didn’t know anything about my weird commitment to journaling. There is a lot of stuff backlogged, and if I’m brave enough, those stories will make there way out into this very public forum.

A few days later I spoke with a close friend in Germany, and she had been reading my blog. She has shown herself to be quite a skilled intuitive and I trust her insights. I was proud of my boldness at posting my stories. I expected some praise, but she was very quick to point out that I was being too superficial. She told me my text was void of sentiment, that I wasn’t sharing enough about what I was feeling, about the deeper emotions. She told me, in essence, exactly what Marisa had told me (above).

I feel like I’ve taken a bold plunge into the deep end of the pool, and now the psychics are telling me to go deeper.

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