I just finished reading a mind-numbing blog post (linked HERE). Lucretia Heart writes about being alone in bed when she was 16 years old, and seeing something that shattered everything.
...It was such a short duration of time, but long enough that there could be no mistake about what I was seeing. Everything in my life changed in that quick few seconds of time and I haven't been the same since. If I could point to the most pivotal few seconds of my entire life - this is IT. I mean, I've seen them while awake since then, but nothing is quite like the shock of the first time an intruding reality is UNDENIABLE...
Just even bare eye contact while I was in a fully conscious state was nearly so overwhelming as to make me feel insane. I knew that I knew that - THING - that was staring at me. But it wasn't a thing. It was a being. An intelligent being that wasn't supposed to exist, but there it was!
I have never read anything so straightforward that describes the complete disintegration of the self, she writes with relentless clarity.
Thank you Lucretia for your bravery.
This same story is part of an audio interview, Lucretia shares this unbearable experience with a shaky voice. (linked HERE)
_____________________________________________________
I remember that interview. I also remembered how I found interesting that the book Lucretia was reading at the time was Clan of the Cave Bear.
ReplyDeleteNot an easy thing, stepping out of the cave to the face the light.
Its a funny detail, remembering the book I was reading at the time-- but I think everything was indelibly etched in my memory. Some traumas one finds themselves dissociating from, but this one burned itself into my memory.
ReplyDelete