Mac Tonnies shares a remarkable set of ideas

a very cute photo of Mac Tonnies

Less than a month ago, Mac was a guest on Coast to Coast AM with George Noory. He was a breath of fresh air on a radio show bogged down with the dubious. During his time on the air, he clearly and engagingly explained his take on a wide variety of subjects. As always, he spoke with remarkable clarity.
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One-click download HERE:

a 30 minute audio excerpt of an interview with Mac Tonnies on Coast to Coast

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He was a welcome guest on a wide variety of esoteric podcasts, but his performance on C2C was particularly impressive. He beautifully conveys his insights to a very mainstream audience. He had a way of articulating EXACTLY what I felt in my bones. He said it better and clearer than I ever could.

Mac covers a lot in this first half hour, a great intro to anyone unfamiliar with his work. If you listen, you'll be treated to a remarkable set of ideas.

Mac Tonnies, dead at 34

Mac Tonnies, my friend, is now dead.

He was found in his apartment on Thursday October 22.

Mac was one of a kind. A brilliant thinker, very funny and a beautiful speaker. I'm crying in a coffee shop in Moab as I write this. Try and understand this, but I needed Mac to reassure me that I wasn't delusional or insane. He got some desperate calls from me, late at night, during my moments of darkness. He was enormously supportive of me and my confusing issues.

A little over a week ago he called me out of the blue. We would occasionally have ridiculously long talks about UFOs and the paranormal. This was the first time he ever called me. We talked for about 3 hours (as usual). I shared some deeply personal stuff, and he was supportive and humorous.

Mac and I never met in person, but I considered him a close friend.

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Joshua Tree California

From L to R. Starfire Tor, William Henry, Anne Striber, Whitley Strieber and Brandon Scott (the Magician)

The Dreamland event in Joshua Tree just ended, and I'm writing this from a groovy little health food store just down the highway from the retreat center. It was really interesting, I've been awash in synchronicities (like THIS! check out the two stories back-to-back). Gotta let it all sink in before I write anything.

But, it was held in the funny complex of buildings built by Frank Lloyd Wright and his son in the late 40's. A weird mix of super-groovy low slung buildings suffering from a dusty sort of decay after 60 years of the desert sun.

believing vs knowing

In the last few weeks I’ve been at the receiving end of a singular message. It’s been showing up over and over and over. There’s been an intense cast of characters who’ve shown up in my life (and even I’ve paid a few of ‘em) and each one has been hitting me over the head with this message.

Here’s what I’m hearing: I need to move on, and quit wallowing in my wishy-washy state of self-doubt. I need to deal with this. The time of wavering is over.

It feels like the universe is no longer nudging me to change, it's kicking me!

Miriam Delicado shared her insights during our audio interview:

She said, “I went thru that stage for a really REALLY long time. Is this real? Is it happening? What does it mean? It’s a real denial that you have to get over at some point. And you eventually come into a really calm clearness over your experiences and what it is that you know within yourself. That's the beauty of it, it forces you to look at all those different areas of who you are.”

Then I ask: “And when is this gunna happen? I’m very eager for this!” And we both laugh.

This was followed by a Tarot reading with gifted researcher, William Henry. He spoke in metaphor (something that I really love) using the imagery from the upturned Tarot cards as a way to visualize where I am in my life, right now and to emphasize the change that's required.

Images like a ship leaving the harbor, sunrise, the birth canal, the caterpillar leaving the cocoon and (in true new age terms) he said it was time to change my resonance.

I also had two long phone chats with David Huggins, and we spoke at length about the difference between believing and knowing. David talked to me in his calm clear way about his life journey, and how believing is a cushion, something that pads him from a deeper experience. He talked about how simply believing was somehow incomplete and it created anxiety in his life. At some point he changed, he understood that his experiences were real, and he entered a phase of knowing, and everything has been much more peaceful since that fundamental shift.

And then came the events of last Saturday night, a week to the day as I write this. This was the frenzied back and forth emails between me and my new pal Stacey. This was a whack across my head because gentle prodding wasn’t working.

Here’s what I wrote to Stacey later in the week: I saw an owl tonight while on my bike in town.

It crossed my path.

And - Last night I spoke on the phone with David Huggins. He carefully described his personal turning point. He went from believing in his experiences - to knowing. It was really moving for me, almost a pep talk (or maybe a sort of instruction manual).

Stacey replied to me “Yes going from believing to knowing is a milestone. I have no idea when that moment was for me. I know longer ‘believe’, I know, and this the difference...I am so thankful for everyday.”

All this seemed to culminate in a psychic reading with Marla Frees. We spoke for over an hour last Sunday, and this could be it’s own novel. But she was very clear that I needed to move on. I need to accept all this stuff that, deep down, I already know. This time of uncertainty needs to end.

I spent last week in a state of self examination. I’m aware that all these ongoing synchronicities, the theme of this whole blog, all seem to be nudging me (or kicking me) in one singular direction: To move beyond a mode of thinking that no longer serves me.

Now, all this implies that there is something before me, just one step farther down the path. Something that I’m capable of embracing, and that can change me. But what that might be - I truly don’t know.

more owl weirdness

my shamanic guru

Yesterday I had an onslaught of synchronicities involving an email exchange with a complete stranger. Lots of little threads that seem to connect up to everything.

Sharing this experience will require some patience, because there are a lot of details, and the story ends up being sorta long.

It started when I stumbled on a blog named, strangely enough, SYNCHRONICITY. The title seemed intriguing, and I scrolled down and read a posting titled The Owl and the Money Clip. The story was really curious, and well worth checking out. I figured I would leave a comment, partially to share my owl stories as a link to this blog (yes, an ego thing). I added a short comment, the thirteenth under that heading.

I read thru the other comments and this one catches my attention.

A woman named Stacey writes:

... a couple years ago I had the privilege to spend time in a giant owls "nest" for lack of a better word, with over thirty barn and horned owls watching me...it was one of the most profound moments of my life!

Over thirty owls? Now this perked my interest!

This seemed curious because I had included a written request at the end of a a recent blog posting on my latest owl sightings.

Just a few days ago I asked:

"My question to anyone out there: Has anyone ever seen adult owls in groups of three (or five)?"

So - I ask a question, and I get a whollp of an answer. I click on Stacey's little picture, and I get sent to her profile page, I click on her contact info, and fire off an email.

I write:

Stacey, I gotta ask about that story. Here's why I’m asking. For reasons unknown, I have been awash in owls this summer (and in the last few years) and its been really strange. I'll add that I have my own blog dedicated to my own paranormal and synchronistic events ... I wrote about seeing a big crew of owls on my blog, and it’s dedicated to synchronicity. I am intrigued!

Later that same day she replies:

How nice to hear from you. I went to your post and it was lovely. Owls are amazing and I have spent time with a few of them ... LOL! I have just posted my story about the owls on my blog. Check it out ... I'd love to hear your thoughts.

So, I go to her blog and read her owls story, and the text is written in a way that's overtly mysterious. Here's a short excerpt:

Above me, I heard a flutter. I looked up. A shadow flew. I felt I was being watched. I looked around for what it was. What was watching me? Then I saw it. A geisha faced owl staring down at me. We contemplated each other until another rustle distracted me. I slowly turned in a circle staring up into the canopy of trees, baring witness to several owls camouflaged in the leaves keeping a watchful eye. There were too many to count. I had stumbled upon a holy shrine and I was the initiate.

[read the entire posting here]

The short little story was filled with mythic images (some real, some metaphorical) of a black beetle, an altar, divine guidance, a holy shrine, a friend named Christian, the longing for a first kiss and a baptism in mysticism. Now, I’m REALLY intrigued!

Here's the final line of the short essay:

It is said that owls are guardians of the after life and their nocturnal nature is a symbol of inner knowing. People are often called to their power animals because they share a mutual energy. With the doors of perception opened, perhaps I had been brought to the owls as a reminder of my intuitive powers and to be shown I was already riding the wave, I had just lost sight of it.

Immediately, I added a comment to HER blog:

Stacey, you said you saw a lot of owls in one spot. My request ... Please, tell me more. For some reason, my life has been inundated with owls lately. I can't quite understand it. There is something SO mystical about an owl, that I can't help but try and see the event as some sort of premonition - or divine message.

I'll also add, there is a scary alien abduction movie (due out soon) that features a lot of owls in the trailer, followed up with "Those aren't owls!" (The Fourth Kind).

Within minutes, I got this directly in my email in-box:

Hi Mike ... Later that night Christian and I saw a "UFO"... I left that part of the story out ... I can't believe your comment ... that is hilarious! Maybe they are connected!

I reply instantaneously:

What?!?!? You saw a UFO - the same night as the OWLS?????

Okay - My Blog is all about my UFO experiences! And the owls are intertwined with my experiences ... I will add this email to my long list of odd coincidences...

Just so you know, this has been EXACTLY the kind of stuff that has been happening to me. Especially this funny email meeting. Up to my reply, there was NOTHING about UFOs in any of our correspondence.

Now - You kinda need to fill me in on the UFO sighting (Pleeeeease) - this is really interesting.

Then Stacey replies with a short narrative explaining her UFO sighting:

So funny! You are so surprised and excited I love it. Nothing shocks me. I believe in EVERYTHING.

So to add to the story ... (after seeing the owls) Well into the night and with the veils of perception solidly back in place, we left. I drove. We were back on the two-way highway when I saw what looked like a streetlight up ahead but as we approached it, I realized the light wasn’t attached to anything and then it flew over our heads.

“It landed back there,” Christian said as his head snapped back around and his eyes lit up like he had just seen a ghost.

“What was it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“Yeah.”

I stopped the car and backed into a vacant lot that was used for selling produce during the harvest season. It was pitch black and we were out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by olive groves. As we got out of the car Christian asked, “If they want to take us would you go?”

“Yes, as long as time stood still,” I said not sure if it were true.

We walked down the middle of the two-lane highway cloaked in darkness when we heard a loud rumble like a semi-truck heading straight for us. We looked at each and ran for our lives back to the car. As I opened my car door whatever-it-was flew over our heads and then vanished into thin air.

We got back in the car and drove away, gazing out into the night sky where it had been. We were silent, not knowing what we had just seen and thinking it was too fantastical to be named. Naming it, owned it and we weren’t ready to own it. As we got back on the Interstate Five, Christian put his hand on my shoulder. It felt familiar like it had been there my entire life. I felt supported and loved beyond a first kiss like we had been married for years. Christian fell asleep and I wondered how many dragons he’d slain that day.

So funny, I thought I was abducted the other night...it happens all the time.

My friend Marla (who interviews for Whitley Streiber on Unknowncountry) has great stories to tell ... she's tapped in.

I reply:

Okay - this is getting strange.

First - I am going to have a phone session with Marla Frees tomorrow! And you bring her up in this email!

On my blog, a few days ago, I posted an audio interview with an abductee (contactee? experiencer?) named Miriam and Marla calls in the background, you can hear her voice, I was on skype, and she called my land-line. I laughed and said, "Okay, this is another synchronicity"

Second - I wanna ask more about the UFO event, but email is a funny forum for that. I may bug you in the future. I'm having such intense deja vu that I am not sure what I'm trying to say. Did you ever post that text about Christian putting his hand on your shoulder anywhere on the net? I feel like I've read it before...

There are a lot of mythic details that make me so intrigued! Olive trees? Owls? Christian (a curious and fitting name), dragons slain, harvest season and time standing still.

Finally - You wrote - "So funny, I thought I was abducted the other night...it happens all the time." So - This happens all the time? But why isn't it in you blog?

At this point I’m wigging out, and Stacy takes it in stride, here’s her response:

That is great ...You are going to love Marla. I don't blog about all this "stuff" because my audience isn't there yet ... My friend Christian is a great guy who is also on the leading edge of all this stuff. How strange we have met through here ... and that you’re speaking with Marla tomorrow.

We sent a few more back-and-forth emails where I encourage (chide?) her to write about her UFO experiences. For some reason, it feels really important that she share these stories. She says she’s thought about it, and I read between the lines and I get the impression that there has been a lot of paranormal activity in her life.

This entire email exchange was just too interesting. There is a long laundry list of mythic plot points that fascinate me - Owls, UFO's, Marla Frees, abduction, Whitley Strieber and her overt religious symbolism.

And ultimately, I am simply amazed at the funny happenstance of me contacting her from a tiny reply you made on another blog that I had never seen before - until I stumbled on it yesterday morning. One more experience with the internet to make me believe (even more strongly) that it has a mystical power all it’s own.
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I encourage folks to read Stacey's blog ( staceyjwarner.blogspot.com ). I was pretty clear that I thought she should write more about her paranormal experiences. I hope my goading pays off!
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A list of relevant links:
Marla Frees web-site
My postings about Owls
Regan Lee writing about Owls
Chris Knowles writing about Owls

Please note, some of the dialog in the back-and-forth emails has been edited slightly for clarity.
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Okay, there's more. On Oct 6th Stacey wrote about these same experiences in her blog, Stacey's Respite. There is a little more to the story, and I'll let her tell it. Let me add that this whole event has be positively magical. The session with Marla was, well, overwhelming in it's intense divinity. (yes, I know that sounds corny, but it's true)

This story ain't over...

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Follow up on Oct 27th.

This morning, I saw that the website SYNCHRONICITY did a posting on this nutty owl story. And, (adding to the coincidences) Stacey and I both added comments (pretty much) simultaneously. When I saw the posting, she hadn't commented yet, and I promptly wrote a (long winded) comment, and when I posted it, she had already added hers!

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audio conversation with Miriam Delicado

Miriam and I spoke yesterday, and the conversation was a sincere sharing of life experiences. She spoke about a series of first-hand contact incidents, and she articulated some deep insights from her memories. What emerged from our discussion was something deeply personal and heartfelt. The informal dialog is posted below.

  one-click audio download HERE  

I met Miriam at the Laughlin UFO congress in February of 2009. At that point I was awash in insecurities and anxiety, and at the same time I felt this very real urgency to try and make sense of my memories. We sat together for a short time, and she patiently listened to my story. The advice she gave me was that I should come forward with my experiences, and in a very real way, this blog is the result of her guidance.

Her presentation was simply a heartfelt re-telling of the events in the book, ans well as a sincere plea that we, all of us, need to make a collective choice on how we will proceed in the upcoming years. I was impressed, and she made quite a splash at the conference.

In 2007 she published a book about her experiences titled BLUE STAR. I read the book when I returned from Nevada, and I found it immensely engaging. It struck a chord in me that I would find hard to articulate. She tells about a life of intermittent contact with alien beings.

There is an extremely dramatic event when she was just 22 years old. It took place along a lonely Canadian highway in 1988. She was stopped by a giant saucer shaped craft and she was escorted on-board. For the next three hours the tall beings shared important insights about the upcoming chapter of humanity.

She was told that when the time was right, she would be asked to come forward and share her story. And in 2007 she had that message, and from that point on she was unwittingly thrust into the role of prophet.

Miriam has a web site, www.bluestarprophecy.com

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During our conversation, a lot comes up. Including a reference to a web-site with a collection of of UFO related illustrations by actual witnesses called Out There Zone.

Also, during the conversation I got a phone call from Marla Frees, and I thought that was strangely synchronistic. She is a gifted psychic, more on her soon.

meeting Whitley Strieber

There are few personalities that can compare to Whitley Strieber. He is (for good or for bad) an intense dude! And he brings out strong opinions in other people.

I met him and he was nice to me.

I'll add that he's a big guy, over 6 feet tall and an impressive presence in a room. When I met him (at Chet Snow's SECRETS conference in 2007) he had on a suit and tie in a room full of flowery new-age people at a UFO conference, making him even more imposing.

He was standing in a line for coffee and I introduced myself. Without any niceties, I jumped right to the issue that was deeply troubling me. I spoke about how I was trying to come to terms with my own set of experiences, which seemed to point to a series of ongoing abductions.

I said, "Looking into this, I'm really - well - really freaked out."

Whitley said, "I should say so!"

Here's what he told me next:

"You know how when you look at a lake at that moment of a beautiful sunset, and the light is reflecting off the surface of the water. What you are seeing is the color of the sky, and the dazzling display of the sunset."

He made a melodramatic hand gesture to visually describe the flat surface of a lake out in front of him, and then he continued.

"But at the same time you may get a glimpse what's under the surface of the water, but you can only see a distorted refraction. I feel that's what's going on here. We see something that we can't quite perceive, it's hidden from us - and what we DO see is distorted and refracted. There is a LOT going on under the water."

That is as good a definition as I've ever heard about this entire mixed-up quandary.

more owls

Two nights ago, I (again) sat in a meadow at sunset, and saw three owls circle around me. I was with a small team of students, and we all basically said: "Golly, this is cool!" This time there was nothing (that I know of) that might have been a trigger. No talk of God or my mother's mortality.

For reasons unknown, I have seen a lot of owls this summer. I spend a lot of time outside in terrain with owls, and this undoubtedly adds to my ability to see owls - but SO many?Am I making too much out of something that might be perfectly mundane?

My question to anyone out there: Has anyone ever seen adult owls in groups of three (or five)?

More owl stories here & here.

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One more story: About 5 years ago I saw two Barred owls in the mountains near my house. They followed me at sun set as I walked along a trail. They would fly to a tree, watch me pass by, and then fly to the next tree and continue watching me as I walked along my path.

David Huggins calls me, right on time

I'm back from my field work teaching mountain skills, and - sure enough - David Huggins calls me on the phone. That's three times he's managed to catch me just a few hours after I am officially done with my outdoor work.

He has a book out, and typical of any artist, he's not entirely happy with the end results (I know the feeling). The book is filled with paintings and the stories that were the inspiration. David's story is at the extreme edge of an already unbelievable subject. But, as bizarre as they are, I simply cannot dismiss his experiences. I've spoken with him at length, and I can't understand why he would be lying. Plus, he has eagerly encouraged me to pursue my creative impulses.

The book is available now, authored by Farah Yurdoza.

five owls

A bunch more owls have shown up in my life.

Here's what happened. I just got out of the mountains in Southern Montana near Yellowstone.

I was on a 7-day trip teaching lightweight camping skills. As twilight approached, myself and a student named Peter did a water run to a nearby spring. It was a beautiful walk, and it probably took less than 20 minutes. We were talking about our lives, and the curious paranormal events that seem to flavor some of our personal experiences.

We got back to camp, and we both lay down to watch the sky. Now, this is unusual, it's something I would never do. But we both did it that evening.

Both of us were on our backs, looking up from a small meadow surrounded by dens trees. Peter is a psychiatrist and the conversation seemed to get deeper and deeper, as the sky got darker and darker.

At one point, there was a noise in the trees above us, and suddenly the small opening in the trees was filled with FIVE OWLS. Yes - FIVE OWLS!

All adult owls, approx 2 feet long, beak to tail, probably common Barred Owls.

It lasted about 10 minutes, and we were both a little bit in shock at the intensity of the sighting. At some point, as we watched them swoop above us, I asked Peter what I was talking about when the owls appeared.

He said I spoke about my mother.

I said, "Really?"

He said, "Yes, they appeared right when you mentioned your mother."

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That night I had a dream my mother was crying, and the image of her face was terribly sad. The next day I called her using a cell phone from high on an alpine ridge top. I was relieved when she said she was fine. I'll add that two years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and presently her life is extremely confusing and stressful. I was worried, and it was nice to hear her voice.

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New text added March 9th 2012:

In this story I noted: "Peter did a water run to a nearby spring."

I need to add a little more to this story. We were camped in a beautiful spot, and there was a pond near our camp site. But the pond was sort of green and murky, not really the best for drinking. I had been in this area before, and I knew of a beautiful spring nearby. So, Peter and I collected all the water bottles from our teammates, there were seven of us total. We carried the empty water bottles to the spring, filled 'em up with cold clear water trickling right out of the rocks, and then took them back to camp.

This is the kind of thing I like to do, just a nice gesture at the end of a long day of hiking. Now, this altruistic act has shown up in another synchronicity (linked HERE). This isn't much of a pattern, that an altruistic act would directly proceed something odd, but I just felt it was important to share my thoughts.

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“Is that a crystal around your neck?”

I was on my bike at night in downtown Bozeman Montana looking for ice cream. It was late enough that a lot of places were closed, so I rode to the gas station at the edge of town. It was open, and I got a pint out of the freezer and went up to the counter. As I was paying the woman behind the counter looked at me oddly, and then cautiously asked me a question:

“Is that a crystal around your neck?”

I said yes.

Okay - I have been wearing a lepidolite crystal on a chain around my neck. This alone should tell you how far over the edge I’ve gone in immersing myself in this ongoing weirdness. The events surrounding this thing, the how's and the why's, would be it’s own series of nutty blog postings (someday, maybe). The story is interesting, but I’ll leave it for another time.

Back to the gas station.

The woman is extremely polite, and explains that the way the stone is mounted, the energy is leaking out the bottom. It’s a tiny egg shaped stone, and it hangs from the chain with the skinny axis going up and down. She told me that it should be set so that it’s sideways to the present axis.

I said thank you, and I took her suggestion seriously.

I got on my bike and rode down the empty main street of this little town. I had a very simple and calm feeling, and I thought to myself, “What am I supposed to make of that? Should I follow up on her recommendation?”

And - At that instant, the streetlight above me went off.

That thought, and that calm feeling seems to be a very real pattern. It comes up in a way that I don’t control, there is no stress or anxiety, they simply appear in my mind as, just a nice calm thought (and David Huggins tells of the same nice thoughts, and their relevance). I get the strong impression that I should trust these nice thoughts.

Coming to terms with these experiences has been extremely difficult. It’s been worrisome (am I insane?) and scary (WTF?). I will dwell on this quandary, and it’s unhealthy. I can get stuck in an oppressive head-space, so when these nice thoughts appear - I recognize them for what they are. At least I hope I do.
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updates

1. About contacting Mike Lewis:
I have replied to the friend request from Mike Lewis. I even had a film crew in the room as I sent the note (yes, I know that's weird). Since that point, we've sent a few short notes back and forth. Just pleasantries. There will be a day when I ask him about that night in 1974, but it hasn't happened yet.

2. A curious update from Cindy Gail:
I just got off the phone with Cindy Gail. I said hello to her on the facebook chat-program and she immediately replied:

I have exciting news for you - What's your phone number? - it's something I can't type - too long - life changing for you - I'm calling you on the phone - RIGHT NOW!

Here's the scoop, she still visits her old next door neighbors (the married couple are now in their mid-80's and in good health). She said they told her a story that they saw a glowing green UFO above her house! This would have been before 1977 (when the couple moved). This roughly matches the time-frame of my missing time experience, in front of that same house in Michigan.

I begged Cindy to play the role of investigative reporter and dig up more on this very curious puzzle piece.

3. More owls
I've seen a few owls lately. They've made their appearance right before some heavy-handed and emotional events.

Just last week I was driving to the airport in the pre-dawn dark, and I saw an owl on a signpost along the side of the road. It flew away as I passed. My trip involved visiting my aging parents who are both dealing with very serious health issues. It was a hard and emotional trip. That said, the trip simply had to happen, even with the very real stresses.

The Garden

Recently I was on a short walk in the woods with a friend and her little son. It was a lovely summer morning and we were in the foothills of Bridger range just outside of Bozeman Montana. At the end of the walk, as the trail neared the parking lot I looked down and saw a small snake in the weeds along the path, and at the same moment she looked up and saw that we were in a patch of seviceberry bushes.

It’s unusual to see snakes in the northern Rockies. It was a just a small garter snake, but a rare sighting none the less.

She began picking the ripe berries and offering them to me, insisting that I try them.

I immediately recognized the mythic imagery of a woman offering me fruit from a tree in the company of a serpent. I pointed this out to her, and she took it upon herself to really play up the role of Eve. I ate without any hesitation.


Less than a week later I was working in the Gallatin range (also near Bozeman) and I was leading a team on a week long hiking trip. At one point, we walked out of the trees to an open meadow and I saw another snake. My first thought was, “Huh, I guess it’s normal to see snakes around here.”

At that instant, my hiking partners walked out of the bushes to meet me, and one fellow exclaimed: “Jacqueline just made me eat Serviceberries, they are SO good!”

Sure enough, our lone female teammate offered one of men fruit from a tree in the presence of a snake.

Then we all looked at the snake together, and to our surprise, it had it’s mouth wrapped around a big mouse with the hind feet and tail poking out. The little snake looked sort of ridiculous with it’s porky meal stretching its girth in a way that seemed impossible. It was like some creepy scene on The Nature Channel.

Any mythologists wanna chime in and tell me what this means? (especially the mouse)

David says what I’m feeling

David Biedny spoke words that I could have very easily said myself. He (as usual) spoke his truth with a better clarity that I ever could have.

The excerpt below is from last nights PARACAST at about the 1:45:00 time mark on the 2 hour podcast (Aug 9, 2009). David shared some stuff that I found really moving. He’s said as much before on other episodes, so don’t ask me why, but this time it really got to me.

Below is a slightly edited (for clarity) transcript from David. I added the dot-dot-dot thing (...) to show where I took out some extraneous dialogue. Italics are all mine. Let me make this clear, he was saying exactly what I’m feeling.

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David said:

When this kind of stuff has intersected with your life you - I mean - for so many years I didn’t think about this stuff - for so many years...

But it’s not an experience, it’s a whole framework. It’s really really odd stuff. Really weird.

So, the point is, when this stuff intersects with your reality at a certain point it kinda reaches an overflow point where you can’t ignore it anymore. So I guess for me, I reached a point where, y’know, I had been bottling this stuff up - suppressing it - all of it...

I’m bringing this up so that people can have some appreciation for the fact that I’m grappling with this stuff in my life. I mean, this is stuff that I don’t have answers for - I have so many questions - and I don’t have a lot of understanding for a lot of this stuff - and - It’s almost as if when Gene was saying to me “Hey, why don’t we do a show about this stuff?”

And, at first I was really hesitant, and then I thought: Maybe it’ll feel good to talk about this some of this... And I wanna talk about these things. Look, maybe at some point I’ll end up regretting all of this, there are times now when I regret it...

But - What are y’gunna do? I’m in my mid-40’s, do I wanna suppress this stuff anymore? No.

I think these things have happened to me for some sort of a reason. Now, I could be wrong about that, but I sorta know I’m not. This is where things get murky and complicated...

But when you’ve interacted with the unknown in the ways I have, there seems to be some sort of purpose to it. And I don’t pretend to know what the purpose is. I don’t know. We’re talking about ongoing things, so - I don’t know - I have a lot of questions...

We have to talk about these things. Look, someone has to have the rational discourse about this stuff. Someone's gotta do it.

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Well said! Thank you, David.

thoughts on a documentary on hold

I've brought this up before in this blog, but I've been involved in a low-budget documentary on the UFO abduction phenomenon. I've tried to write about it, but the story is sorta long and complicated. I type slow and talk fast, so I recorded it as audio.